Grif.Net

A father = wanted to prove that he’s not just some boring house Dad, so he got his = first tattoo.   When he got = home, he excitedly showed it off to his wife and = kids.   "Oh, = cool! It’s . . . what exactly IS it?"…

[I got a lot = of groans from yesterday’s pun, so had to try to outdo the word = play today.  Remember, you didn’t ask for it.] To = measure puns properly, you must use a sighsmograph. =   I saw a guy in = a store without a mask.…

A fly felt a = bug on its back.   "Hey, bug = on my back, are you a mite?" the fly asked.   "I mite = be," giggled the mite.   "That’s = the worst pun I’ve ever heard," groaned the = fly.   "What do = you expect?"…

NEW PSALM 23 FOR SPRING AND = SUMMER   Recreation is my shepherd; I shall not stay at = home.   It maketh me to lie down in a sleeping bag. It leadeth me down the interstate each = weekend; It restoreth my suntan. It leadeth me to state parks…

A poodle and a = collie are walking together when the poodle suddenly unloads on his = friend. “My life is a mess,” he says. “My owner is = mean and chain me up. My girlfriend ran away with a schnauzer. And = I’m as jittery as a cat.”  …

There was an = old man who lived by a forest. As he grew older and older, he started = losing his hair, until one day, on his deathbed, he was completely bald. = That day, he called his children to a meeting.   He said, = "Look at my…

[Local shops = are following the truth-in-advertising rules in their clever = signage] **We’re better than anyone faster, and faster than = anyone better.   **If you want = it yesterday, be sure to get your order in three weeks = ago.   **We can do = work good, fast,…

Candace B = prayed, “Thank God I’m an = atheist”.   Mel M asked, = “Anyone know where to get fresh ice cubes? I don’t want any = frozen ones.”   Judi S = rejoiced: “Just found a pen at work and realized it must have been = mine. When…

Paul Revere’s = Ride by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow   Listen, my = children, and you shall hear Of the = midnight ride of Paul Revere, On the = eighteenth of April, in Seventy-five; Hardly a man = is now alive Who remembers = that famous day and year.   He…

[Philip P. = Bliss, 1838-1876, wrote this simple song encompassing the mission two = thousand years ago of our Savior.  And we join the simple refrain = today – Hallelujah.]   “Man of = sorrows” – what a namefor the Son of God, Who cameruined = sinners to reclaim:Hallelujah, what…

**My former = tax preparer is the best at finding loopholes.  Ask anyone in his = cellblock.   **My dream is = to make so much money people resent how little I pay in = taxes.   **Dear IRS: I = would like to cancel my subscription.  Please remove my…

We were tired = and sad after the funeral of a good friend. Realizing we were also = hungry, my wife and I stopped at a Chinese restaurant for a quick = bite.   Our relaxing = time came to an abrupt halt, though, when I read the fortune =…

A highway = patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the highway. Looking at the = car, he was astounded to see that the elderly woman behind the wheel was = knitting.   The trooper = opened his window and yelled to the driver, “Pull over! Pull = over!”  …