Grif.Net

= Q: What is black and covered= with feathers and flies? A: A dead crow. =   Q: What family does the zebra belong to? = A: = Can’t say, none of the families in our neighborhood owns a zebra.   Q: What do you call two monkeys that share…

= I got an A on my origami ass= ignment when I turned my paper into my teacher.   I poured some water over a duck’s back yesterday. I don’t think he = cared.   I know my girlfriend thought I wa= s invading her privacy because she wrote about…

["R= esumania" is a term used to describe the unintentional bloopers that o= ften appear on job candidates’ resumes, job applications and cover letters.= ]    "Objection: To utilize my skills in sales." (Have you considered law school?)    "My = salary requirement is $34 per year." (They say money…

["R= esumania" is a term coined by Mr. Robert Half, founder of RHI Consulti= ng’s parent company, to describe the unintentional bloopers that often appe= ar on job candidates’ resumes, job applications and cover letters. ]   &nbsp= ;"I perform my job with effortless efficiency, effectiveness, efficacy= , and expertise."…

Retiring= to Wisconsin I found some towns are so small that   …their city limits = signs are both on the same post. &nb= sp; …the city jail is called amoeba; it onl= y has one cell.   …the McDonalds only has one Golden Arch.   …the 7-11 is= a…

[As my f= aithful readers know, during the week we send inane humor, but on the weeke= nd, we focus on serious moral, ethical, political, or religious issues. Thi= s is a true story posted 25 years ago.]   One night in a church service a you= ng woman felt…

= James Z. boasted, “I&#= 8217;m getting stronger in old age! I now can lift $100 worth of groceries = with just one hand.”   Ken H. report= ed, “Somebody just threw a handful of Omega 3 tablets at me! It’s oka= y; I only suffered super fish oil injuries.”…

= [Collection of oddities that= struck my funny bones]   Plateaus are th= e highest form of flattery.   Where do bum= blebees go to use the restroom? At the BP station.=   What=E2=80=99s the difference between a steak and = a shooting star? One is meaty and the other…

= You know you are old when yo= u stop growing at both ends and start growing in the middle. =   You know you are old when the only females who pursue = you are mosquitoes.   You know you are o= ld when you knew when the Dead Sea…

= [Here are some OLD questions/answers that may still bring a chuckle or g= roan to each of us today]   What do you call a can open= er that doesn’t work? A= can’t opener. &nb= sp; How come it was called the &#82= 20;Dark Ages”? There we= re a…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_17C2_01DC3C2F.C7317930 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit After putting her young children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy sweatshirt and proceeded to wash her hair, put on a clay facial masque, and insert a teeth-whitening device in her…

= [Pastor Wayne Muri, an old c= lassmate of mine, wrote this encouraging thought on death for a Christian s= hortly after his sweet wife’s passing in 2018. Used by his permission.]   Sitting with a group of friends one night, = the question came up, “What’s it like to…

Two litt= le boys were visiting their grandmother, and she took them to a restaurant = for lunch.   They couldn’t make up their minds about what they wanted to eat= =2E   Finally, their grandmother grinned at the server and said, "Just = bring them bread and water."  =…