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Let the minister have a place in your heart. Mention his name at your family altar, and in your prayer closet. You expect him to come before you day after day, to teach you the things of the kingdom, and exhort and stir up your pure minds by way of…

What is the difference between Bird Flu and Swine Flu? For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment. [Thanks grammak for the smile] ~~ Dr Bob Griffin “Jesus knows me, this I love”

[Since March 20th we’ve have 5 heavy snow storms and uncounted rain storms. Very unusual for arid Casper. Last Sunday (June 7) was 37F and half inch of rain. A friend in Seattle wrote me and said to QUIT WHINING about the little bit of precipitation we get in Wyoming.…

Everybody knows about the Fujita Scale which measures the power of tornados. But nobody really knows what all those types of twisters do to COWS. So here is the MOOJITA Scale… M0 Tornado – Cows in an open field are spun around parallel to the wind flow and become mildly…

The 2009 graduate with a Science degree asks, “Why does it work?” The 2009 graduate with an Engineering degree asks, “How does it work?” The 2009 graduate with a Business degree asks, “How much will it cost?” The 2009 graduate with an Economics degree asks, “How can we market it?”…

“Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.” Carl Zwanzig “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.” Albert Einstein “Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a…

CHILDREN’S DAY, 2009 PASTOR: Lord, we pray for children who put chocolate fingers everywhere, who like to be tickled, who stomp in puddles and ruin their new pants, who sneak Popsicles before supper, and can never find their shoes. CONGREGATION: And we pray for those who have no shoes, who…

Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the billfold. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in.…

You Know You’re Having a Bad Day When . . . Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell’s Angels motorcyclists. Your twin sister forgets your birthday. Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles. You call the suicide prevention hotline and they put you on hold.…

1. Too many clicks spoil the browse. 2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. 3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. 4. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. 5. Great groups from little icons grow. 6. Oh, what…

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I…

The economy is so bad. Motel Six won’t leave the light on. The Mafia is laying off judges. A truckload of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Gold diggers are…

[Carol forwarded this. Author Unknown.] One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and…