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If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu . . ignore it.

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor,…

A young mother was paying a visit to a doctor and she made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.” “No,”…

10. American Express calls and says: “Leave home without it!” 9. You’re formulating a plan to rob the food bank. 8. Long distance companies don’t call you to switch. 7. You rob Peter…and then rob Paul. 6. You finally clean your house, hoping to find change. 5. You think of…

[Sometimes the bumper sticker says it all:] Cremation: Think Outside the Box I’m Retired. I was Tired Yesterday and I’m Tired Again Today When I was younger, all I wanted was a nice BMW. Now I don’t care about the W. I’m at the initial stage of my retirement: SSI,…

Sign in a Whiting, Indiana store front window: “WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE AMERICAN SOLDIER!” This sign was prominently displayed in the window and you would think such an Inflammatory statement would bring immediate outrage. However, we are a society which…

Barbara Mandrell relates that when she had her first child (son Nathan) that she always sang three songs to him. “Jesus Loves Me”, “This is the Day that the Lord hath Made” and “Jesus Loves the Little Children”. She wondered which of these three would be the first song he…

After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the church’s pastor once again slowly stood up, walked over to the pulpit, and gave a very brief introduction of his childhood friend. With that, an elderly man stepped up to the pulpit to speak, “A father, his son, and a…

Today is our anniversary. We’ve been happily married 3 years now. (We’ve been married 39 years, but I said “happily”.) Here are a couple old-couple jokes . . . I remember the time I tried to help by doing my own laundry. I threw my favorite sweat-shirt in the washer,…

A minister, wearing a “clergy collar”, visited the church day care. The little children were quite concerned at this odd looking outfit. One little girl asked if he had a “boo-boo” on his neck and asked him how he got hurt. The pastor smiled and took the white plastic collar…

We got a giant floor puzzle of the US states and inserts for each capital. My oldest grandson put the puzzle together in record time, then proceeded to get all the cities correctly, too, bragging on how easy it was. (He is very smart) I said that when I was…

[My whining about Casper’s odd cold/wet weather and the jokes about Seattle brought a response from Ben in the Tempe/Phoenix area] IT’S SO HOT in Arizona in the summer that . . . We go to McDonalds to get coffee and pour it on our laps – just to cool…

[Regarding “Swine Flu.” – from Friday’s Grif.Net, Gene asks “If a person dies from the Swine Flu, does he go to “Hog Heaven?” His answer – “Only if he is riding a Harley”.] Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica- where do…