Researchers have recently discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had quite a few interesting relatives. A grandfather that moved to Yugoslavia: U Gogh A dizzy blonde aunt: Verti Gogh A brother that worked at a convenience store: Stopen Gogh A magician uncle: Wherediddy Gogh A psychiatrist nephew: E. Gogh…
06/28/07 Grif.Net – Rule for Pastors
According to your congregation, there are bad sermons and short sermons but there are no bad short sermons. A life saver mint will last 22 minutes exactly if left lying between the cheek and gum during the normal course of talking. This is a helpful hint to time your sermon.…
06/27/07 Grif.Net – Insights on Chicken Crossings
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line. Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? She wanted to stretch her legs. Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it could actually be done! Why did the…
06/26/07 Grif.Net – Odd Lines
Add the “Joke Of The Day” to your Site or Blog. Its FREE! Search for one liner by the Categories category Joke Browse | Browse [Odd assortment of lines I’ve heard . . . ] I don’t get even, I get odder. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have…
06/25/07 Grif.Net – Wurst of June
June’s Best Knock-Knock Joke = Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Cows go. Cows go who? No, silly, Cows go MOOO! June’s Really Bad Pun Award = The pigeon family decided to fly to the beach for summer vacation. But baby pigeon was worried and said, “I can’t make it; I’ll get…
06/23/07 Weekend Grif.Net – Twinkle Twinkle
Wishing to encourage her young son’s progress on the piano, a mother took her boy to a Paderewski concert. After they were seated, the mother spotted a friend in the audience and walked down the aisle to greet her. Seizing the opportunity to explore the wonders of the concert hall,…
06/22/07 Grif.Net – Little Known Laws of the Universe
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or your bladder will need emptying. Laws of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Workshop Corollary: Any small, extremely expensive part that is accidentally dropped will…
06/21/07 Grif.Net – Animal Crackers
A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asked. “The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is…
06/20/07 Grif.Net – Deep Thoughts from Teens
From an actual newspaper contest where teenaged entrants were asked to imitate “Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.” I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don’t have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last…
06/19/07 Grif.Net – Wrong Feet
My grandson (three-years old) put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, “Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet.” He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, “Don’t kid me, Mom. I KNOW they’re my feet.”…
06/18/07 Grif.Net –
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You don’t want to try these techniques at home.” “Why not?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,” the expert explained. “She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and…
06/16/07 Weekend Grif.Net – More about Life from Animals
ELEPHANTS – Ever see elephants that weigh tons tied to a small wooden stake with nothing but a rope that they could break without effort? Their training starts out with a steel cable that they cannot break. After a while, the cable is removed and the rope is put on.…
06/15/07 Grif.Net – Dinosaurs
Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur? A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur’s dog? A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us-Rex Q: Why did the T-rex cross the road? A: So he could eat the chickens on the other side Q: What do you get if you cross a dinosaur…