Returning from a trip I sat in a wheelchair in the Delta section of the Salt Lake City airport terminal, I was appreciating the fine service as I was saved from walking long distances by kind staff members (who wouldn’t even accept a tip!!). I can walk, but the more…
07/27/09 Grif.Net – Murphy’s Law of Children
Murphy’s Law of Children 1. The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. 2. For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty. 3. Toys multiply to fill any space available. 4. The longer it takes you to make a meal,…
07/25/09 Weekend Grif.Net – Outsourcing
[Tongue in cheek, but serious thought behind this clever parody. Anyone who is still a liberal (fewer and fewer admitting to it after the mess Congress is in) may feel free to change the title/theme to barb any conservative politician of your choice. Or delete it. Or weep.] Congress Votes…
07/24/09 Grif.Net – Value
A Texan, a Californian, and a Nevadan were out riding their horses. The Texan pulled out an expensive bottle of whiskey, took a big swig, then another, and then suddenly threw it into the air, pulled out his gun and shot the bottle in midair. The Californian looked at the…
07/23/09 Grif.Net – More Handy Tips
Some months ago we shared “handy tips” for life. Remember that great idea, “If a person is choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.” Well, we’ve got some more tips . .…
07/22/09 Grif.Net – Perspective
Out playing in the yard one day with my young granddaughter, I got a little wistful. “In ten years,” I said, “you’ll want to be with your friends and you won’t go walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do now.” She shrugged and said sweetly. “Don’t worry, Grandpa.…
07/21/09 Grif.Net – Manners
JZ forwarded – Working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving shots to children. One day I entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her needle. “No, no, no” she screamed. “Lizzie,” scolded her mother, “that’s not polite behavior.” With that, the girl yelled even…
07/20/09 Grif.Net – Prayers
A reporter travels to Israel to cover the fighting. She is looking for something emotional and positive and of human interest. Something like that guy in Sarajevo who risked his life to play the cello everyday in the town square. In Jerusalem, she heard about an old Jew who had…
07/18/09 Weekend Grif.Net – Band of Brothers
[Forwarded, and verified as a true account] One of the “Band of Brothers” soldiers died just a month ago (June 17, 2009). We’re hearing a lot today about big splashy memorial services. I want a nationwide memorial service for Darrell “Shifty” Powers. Shifty volunteered for the airborne in WWII and…
07/17/09 Grif.Net – Clowns
Read about a church that put on a circus to attract people and had a clown “preach”. Here are some reasons we may forgo the trend and not have a clown preacher: They force people to smile too early in the morning. It’s hard to say with dignity, “The sermon…
07/17/09 Grif.Net – Clowns
Read about a church that put on a circus to attract people and had a clown “preach”. Here are some reasons we may forgo the trend and not have a clown preacher: They force people to smile too early in the morning. It’s hard to say with dignity, “The sermon…
07/16/09 Grif.Net – My Mother’s Dictionary
AIRPLANE: What Mom impersonates to get a 1-year-old to eat strained beets. APPLE: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which I traded for cupcakes. BABY: 1. Dad, when he gets a cold. 2. Mom’s youngest child, even if he’s 42. BATHROOM: a room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom…
07/15/09 Grif.Net – If Mothers Wrote the Bible
Did you ever think we’re missing part of the Bible stories by just reading the facts? Here are some additions of lines that their MOTHERS might have said . . . David! I told you not to play in the house with that sling! Go practice your harp. We pay…