Daily Humor

[More lame riddles/jokes to make the family roll their eyes in = unison.]   Q: What was the first game in the Bible?A: Baseball: Genesis 1:1 sta= rts, “In the big inning”.Eve stole first and Adam stole sec= ond. They both were put out Cain struck = out Abel The…

[In place of our regular weekly quiz, we’ll provide a few= days of FUNNY (and lame) jokes about Bible history. Enjoy the groans of th= e whole family with these old lines.] Q: Where does the Bible teach = that men should clean up the kitchen after a meal?A: II Kings…

The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named = Calle who has a chronic illness, requiring medication. The zoo people could= n’t get Calle to take her dose orally, so a California pharmacologist= developed a suppository.   The 10-inch-long,= four-pound, cocoa-butter bullets are crafted by the good folks at Guittard=…

[Enjo= ying a long Wisconsin autumn and felt like Humpty Dumpty, who also had a gr= eat fall.  Here are some thoughts and sentiments of famous people abou= t this time of year.]   “As long as autumn lasts, I won’t have enough hands, canvas o= r colors to paint…

Few thoughts on life of a senior . . .   >I want to use my retirement time to travel t= he world until my money runs out. I’ll probably be home by 10 pm toni= ght.   >I never knew how much I could get = done while wearing…

Two men were sitting on a bench, waiting for= a bus. At their feet between them lay a dog.   One fellow said to the other, “Hey, does your dog bite?”   The other replied, “Never. He’s a= good dog that never bit anyone.”   So = the first fellow…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0078_01DB1FAE.946DDC80 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_0079_01DB1FAE.946DDC80″ ——=_NextPart_001_0079_01DB1FAE.946DDC80 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit After my oral surgery and getting a full upper denture, I was sitting with my wife on the porch swing and talking about when we were younger. Teresa said, “Remember back when…

Who’s pulling the strings or doing the= talking or moving the arms? We all know famous puppets, marionettes, and m= uppets. BUT do you know who created these loveable critters that have seeme= d to take on lives of their own? Some easy, some hard. These were the inven= tors…

[Reading some puns and word-play on-line, and still smiling at = how smart some folks are compared to my addled brain.  Examples? = As grandma in Minnesota always said, “Youbetcha”. Here are few= =2E]   *= *I have a prosthetic toe made from breath mints. I call it my Tic-Tac-Toe.  …

When Christopher Columbus and his one-hundred-men crew pushed o= ff from Palos de la Frontera, Spain, in search of a western sea route to As= ia in 1492, many weren’t so sure they’d ever see him again.   The Itali= an-born explorer had lobbied earnestly for funding for the trip,…

A Sunday School teacher was laboring hard at explaining the = evils of sin to his young charges. "God told Lot to take his wife and = flee out of the city. But when they were just a little way off, his wife lo= oked back and turned into a…

Mike B. announced, “Merriam-Webster added 200 new words. = To make space, they got rid of words nobody uses anymore, like ‘dicti= onary’.”   Candy S. wondered, “Find it amusing my husband won&#8= 217;t let me pick up his new MacBook Pro because he’s afraid I’= ll drop it, but…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0032_01DB1A2A.908DEAD0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit The experimental salt-water algae farm was having difficulty because of the depletion of the plants by hundreds of terns eating them. An ornithologist was hired to solve the problem. His solution was to grow cannabis sativa…