Daily Humor

[Thom Rainer shared his thoughts on use of “devices&#8221= ; in church.  Interesting thoughts. Talk amongst yourselves.]   I noticed several people in the church using their smartphones or tabl= ets, presumably as a digital Bible or a digital notetaker. For those I coul= d see from my vantage point,…

A number of words are NOUNS when you emphasi= ze the FIRST syllable but become VERBS when you emphasize the SECOND syllab= le. No change in spelling, just accenting/emphasis. Interesting. How= was I 76 years old, a lover of words, and yet nobody ever taught me this? = Wait. I’m…

A pastor was walking through the new town to= which he was called to minister. He stopped on the sidewalk to ask a young= lad where the post office was.   The boy poi= nted down the street. “Three blocks ahead, then left a block and you = can’t miss…

What happened at the wedding of two nuclear = technicians? The bride wa= s radiant, and the groom was glowing   Why di= d Shakespeare always write with a pen? Because pencils made him ask, &#= 8220;2B or not 2B?”   Why do meteorolog= ists try to weigh a rainbow?…

I read a book about glue and couldn’t = seem to put it down.   I read a book about c= locks since I figured it was about time.   I = read a book about mazes and got lost in it.   I read a book about anti-gravity but…

A lad was going to his first day of school. He looked worried, = so his mom asked him, "What’s wrong?" Nervously, the kid asked, "How long do I have t= o go to school for?" "Well, yo= u’ll go until you’re 18", replied his mother. The boy nodded, obviously…

[94-year-old Clint Eastwood shared these tru= ths]   “Do not look for luxury in watch= es or bracelets; do not look for luxury in forks or sails.   Luxury is laughter and friends, luxury is rain on your face= , luxury is hugs and kisses.   Don’t look for= luxury…

Dear Dad,   $chool i$ really great.  I am making lot$ of = friend$ this new $eme$ter, and $till $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anythin= g I need. $o, if you’d like, ju$t $end me a card or a $hort text, a$ =…

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will= and told her lawyer she had two final requests.   First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes s= cattered over Wal-Mart.    ‘Wal-Ma= rt?’ the lawyer exclaimed. ‘Why Wal-Mart?’     ‘Well, then I’ll be sure my…

A woman phoned her husband at work.   HIM: "I’m sorry, = dear, but I’m up to my neck in work right now and I can’t talk."   HER: = "But I’ve got some good news and some bad news for you, honey."   H= IM: "OK, darling, but since…

Everyone should know the State Capitals sinc= e 5th grade Social Studies class (there were only 48 in my day).= But this is more about the STATES and capitals, not just a rote list or ma= tching. Each answer MUST BE the STATE name with clues about their ca= pitals.…

[Many questions come across my desk each day. Here are some fro= m last week, along with insightful answers.] Q: Do you know where to buy chicken broth in bulk? A: The Stock Market. &n= bsp; Q: Where do bad rainbows go? A: To prism. But it’s a light sentence.…

[From an  episode of The Andy Griffith = Show]  = When Barney told Andy he should jus= t let Opie "decide for himself" how he wanted to live, Andy had t= hese words of wisdom.   "No, I’m afraid= it don’t work that way. You can’t let a young’n decide…