Daily Humor

= [Sorry, but banana jokes are= so ap-peel-ing to me]   Why did the ban= ana go out with a prune? Because he couldn’t find a dat= e.   What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers.   A friend= told me that all apples were yellow.…

= Once, a moth flew into a vet= erinary clinic. The doctor saw him and asked him what the matter was. =   The moth said that he had a lot of problems.= He was not happy with his life; he was not happy with the job he was doing=…

= A man talked seriously = to his pastor about something terrible happening in his marriage. Hi= s pastor asked, "What’s wrong?" The man replied, "My = wife is poisoning me." Very surprised by this, the pastor asked= , "How can that be?" The man then pleaded, "I’m telli= ng you,…

= A little boy wanted to meet = God. He knew it must be a very long trip to where God lived, so he packed h= is small bag with Twinkies and cans of root beer and started his journey.   When he had gone about three blocks, he= met…

= (1) ”When his IQ reaches 50= , he should sell.” (2) ”If you see two people talking and one look= s bored, ….. he’s the other one.” (3) ”A photographic memor= y but with the lens cover glued on.” (4) ”A prime candidate for na= tural deselection.” (5) ”Donated his…

= (1) ”This employee should go far ….. and the sooner he starts, the bette= r.” (2) ”A gross ignoramus—144 times worse than an ordinary = ignoramus.” (3) ”One neuron short of a synapse.” (4) ”Som= e drink from the fountain of knowledge;….. he only gargled.” (5) = ”He doesn’t…

= (1) ”This young lady has delusions of adequacy.” (2) ”His men wou= ld follow him anywhere ……. but only out of morbid curiosity.” (= 3) ”I would not allow this employee to breed.” (4) ”This employee= is really not so much of a ‘has-been’, but more of a definite ‘won’t…

= Two crows were in a field wh= en they noticed a figure in the distance that looked like a man.=   "See that over there? What is that?", as= ked the first crow.   The second crow to= ok a long look and answered, "Nuthin’ to be afraid of.…

= Ladies and = gentlemen, skinny and stout, I will tell yo= u a tale I know nothing about. Admission is= free, so pay at the door. Pull up a seat a= nd sit on the floor.   One bright day in the middle of the night= Two dead boys…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0091_01DC8D0D.E12853C0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_0092_01DC8D0D.E12853C0″ ——=_NextPart_001_0092_01DC8D0D.E12853C0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit [In some ways, Senator Ben Sasse (R-Nebraska) is a hero of mine. His life story and his writings (The Vanishing American Adult; Them: Why We Hate Each Other and How to Heal)…

= After five grueling years of= studying, a graduate student came rushing into Einstein’s office shouting,= "Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!&qu= ot;   Einstein rolled his eyes and replied= , "Well, it’s about time". ~~= Dr.= Bob Griffin“Abhorring all my sin, adoring only Him” [email protected]…

= The Department of Fish, Wild= life & Parks is issuing revised safety recommendations for bear interac= tions.  We urge all tourists, hikers, and aspiring Instagram models to= take the following precautions while enjoying our scenic wilderness:1. WEAR BELLS: We strongly encourage attaching small, noisy bells to your= clothing and…

=   = A Texan= was taking a taxi tour of London and immediately began comparing that city= with his beloved Texas. (No surprise there, eh?)  = As they went by the Tower of London the cabby explained what it w= as and that construction started in 1346 and it…