Daily Humor

Jay Leno =3D “I bought my = Christmas tree today. I think I made a mistake, though. I bought the = three year extended warranty.  I don’t think I need = that.”   ·         = Phyllis Diller =3D "What I don’t like about = office Christmas parties is looking for…

It= was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the = prisoner, “What are you charged = with?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the = defendant. &#= 8220;That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early = were you doing this shopping?” “A couple hours…

Buying gifts for men is = not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you = should have no problems.        = Rule #1: When in doubt – buy him a cordless drill. It does = not matter if he already has one. I have…

When I was a kid at Christmas we couldn’t afford = tinsel.  We had to wait for grandpa to sneeze toward the = tree. Christmas is the time when = people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don’t = know if they’re celebrating the birth…

[Adapted by Paul Harvey for ABC = Radio] Unable to trace its proper parentage, I have designated = this as my Christmas Story of the Man and the Birds. You know, THE = Christmas Story, the God born a man in a manger and all that escapes = some moderns,…

[Sorry these are late, with our cell-service problems, = ] Here are some basic rules = given by my English teacher to remember sentence structure in your = thank-you notes this year. 1. Saint Nicholas is the main = Clause. 2. His wife is a = relative Clause. 3. His…

[NOTE – the grif.net will be out-of-pocket a = couple days.  We WILL “send some early‘ and with others = “catch up” with days we miss from no cell-service when we = can, in spite of numerous requests.] TOP 10 REASONS WHY HANUKKAH IS BETTER THAN = CHRISTMAS 10.  =…

12/16/15 Grif.Net – Christmas with Bob Hope [We all knew and loved the fact that = Bob Hope gave up HIS Christmas to travel to war zones to make Christmas = a little more special for the troops.  You might not have known his = own version of why he…

Dear = Santa,   We’re worried about you. = From your rosy red cheeks to your legendary girth to your all-night = sleigh ride around the world, you may be at risk for diseases, maladies, = mishaps and lawsuits that send chills through our Santa-loving hearts. A = careful examination…

I = planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed = it.   My = aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I’m good, = she’ll give me the other one next year. Yesterday I saw a = guy…

I don’t want to come off like I’m being too hard on = 5-year-olds, but they tend to have grossly unrealistic expectations of = the world.   For instance, when a 5-year-old girl in Seattle heard = her poor mother hinting that maybe "Santa" might not have the = cash…

[A recently-divorced friend = suggests this sure-fire list of gift ideas . . ] 10. A car wash = kit 9. A table = saw 8. Two all-day = passes to Circuit City’s Home Theatre Installation = Seminar 7. A case of = oil 6. Five-year = subscription to Sports…

“Ah, = Christmas. The one time of year everyone gets = ‘santamental’.”   Did you hear what a = webmaster’s favorite Christmas carol? “Oh, .Com, All Ye = Faithful!”   The other day I sent my = girlfriend a huge pile of snow. A little later I texted her: ‘Did…