Daily Humor

[Sarah, mother of 4 boys and 1 daughter, shared some = “Beach Joke” to help pass the time on long drives to the = seashore]   Q:  What do you get when you combine an elephant = with a fish? A:  Swimming = trunks.   Q:  Do fish go on…

A warm morning in July gave rise to relaxing and = thinking.  Most of the time, at my age, I realize that I = don’t do enough deep thinking.  So while choosing between a = poached egg/bran muffin OR enjoying cake/ice cream today for breakfast I = thought: If walking…

As both Pastor and = Administrator of our Christian School in Wisconsin, I made it a practice = to have fun on the playground with the kids (giving the staff time to = use the restroom) and often sitting with the students at lunchtime and = asking questions and telling…

[First workday of the month = demands first-class puns and word-plays.  Or these instead. Take = your pick.]   The local veterinarian got laryngitis but no one = noticed since he’s always been a hoarse doctor.   My wife is = happy to make a pair of pants for me,…

Your nose is = important.  This week, DO NOT   *Look down it at somebody   (Pride) =   *Poke it into someone else’s = business   (Strife/Dissension)   *Snoop around with it   = (Nosey/Gossip)   *Get it out of joint   (Anger) =   *Cut it off to spite your face   =…

“UP”.=A0 This two-letter word in = English has more meanings than any other two-letter word. It is listed = in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n]=A0 or [v]. =   It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky, = or at the top of the list. But…

Fourth of July weekend was here. Everyone was enjoying the = beautiful summer weather.  At Church on Sunday the pastor said he = was glad so many were in attendance but that he didn’t want to = keep them long.   "My = good  people,  I have here in my…

[A friend asked if I could find an old grif net = entry from 20+ years ago about lessons from my mother.  Not sure if = this is what she was asking for, but I smiled when I found them and = share them again with you.  BTW, if you…

Where do clich=E9s = come from? My grandfather always said, "You just do your job, = please the boss, everyone is happy and soon enough you’re riding the = gravy train."=A0 What is a gravy train? I didn’t know they were = actually hauling gravy by rail. Do people gather…

The Washington Post invited readers to take any = word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing = one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: =   1. Intaxicaton (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax = refund, which lasts until you realize it…

I’ve never made a fortuneand it’s = probably too late now.But I don’t worry about that = much,I’m happy anyhow. And = as I go along life’s way,I’m reaping better than I = sowed.I’m drinking from my saucer,‘Cause my cup has = overflowed.    I = don’t have a lot…

Many loyal readers know that I’m nearly 6 feet, = 6 inches tall. ‘I’m just average height’, I always = joke.  A friend came up to me very angry.  He blasted = out, “You told me the secret of your being so tall was to rub = grease on your…

DO NOT wash your = hair in the shower.   It’s so good to finally get a health warning that is = useful. It concerns the shampoo from our hair that runs down the body = when you shower. I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out = sooner.…