Daily Humor

[Steven, a comic, shared some of what happened in his week. Made every day look like Friday the 13th] >A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, “Why were you going so fast?” I said, “See this thing my foot is on? It’s called an accelerator. When you push down…

[A couple weeks ago we sent the Ten Commandments = from a Cowboy Church in Texas.  Today we see Minnesnowta = represented with THEIR rendition of the Commandments]   1.  Der’s only one God, don’t ya = know.   2.  Don’t make that fish on your mantle an = idol.…

**I always wanted to be just = like my mother. Today I’m working on dramatically clutching my throat = when I’m told the price of anything.   **We can’t afford to take our = kids to a corn maze this year so we’re just going to take them to an…

**My family always celebrates = Thanksgiving with a fast. The faster we eat, the more food we = get.   **Remember, children, the = best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby = brother.   **There’s nothing I’ve = learned from being a father…

**1 in 5 people in the world = are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. = It’s either me, my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my = younger brother Zhang Wei. But = personally, I think…

**I refused to believe my = road-worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all = the signs were there.   **My parents won’t say which = of their six kids they love the best, but they have told me I finished = just out of…

[This week we will share = glimpses of life around the homes of grif net readers] **About a = month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, = he went down-hill fast.   **When I was a boy, I had a = disease that…

[We honor our Veterans on this special Armistice = Day edition. And share some advice the older generation of vets wants to = pass down. Okay, it may include humor, less traditional thoughts and = more ‘oddball’ advice, but . . . ]   >Friendly fire – isn’t. Recoilless rifles…

Maine is the only state a one-syllable = name.   A "jiffy" is an actual scientific unit of = time: 1/100th of a second.   Leonardo Da = Vinci invented the scissors.   According to = God (Genesis 1:20-22), the chicken came before the egg.   Kotex was = first…

[These questions LOOK easy, like a child could get = them right. Some are; some may cause you to think a = little.]   Q1: What has a foot on each side AND another foot in = the middle?   Q2: I have three apples.  If you take away two…

During a performance for the = high school talent show at the local theater, a hole cracked open in the = stage floor. Subsequent acts managed to avoid the damaged area until = little young Justin, juggling bowling pins, accidentally stepped through = the hole up to his knee.  …

[Fun = for the little ones today]   Q: Why = do bees buzz?A: Because they can’t whistle Q: = Can bees fly in the rain?A: Not without their little yellow = jackets Q: Why did the bee started talking poetry?A: He was = waxing lyrical Q: What goes zzub,…

Every student in the class was = getting ready for Thanksgiving Break.  The teacher asked Nathan = about plans for his family trip.   "We’re visited my = grandmother on Lake Minnetonka in Minneapolis, = Minnesota."   The teacher replied, = "Good.  Can you tell the class how you spell…