Daily Humor

Grif.Net Camp Director =3D Lawson D. = Woods   Grif.Net Seasonal Adjustment Disorder Specialist =3D = Mahmoud S. Bleak   Grif.Net = Chair Tester =3D Mike Easter   Grif.Net = Meteorologist =3D Claudio Vernight   Grif.Net = Swedish Attorney =3D Bjorn Liar   Grif.Net = Xerox Reproduction Center =3D Fresh…

Sent a Buddhist friend a = Christmas present (ironic, eh?) nicely giftwrapped. He opened it and = found it was empty and said, “Aha! Just what I = wanted.”   A Zen master told me, “Do the opposite of = what I tell you.” So I didn’t.   At the…

An attorney, cross-examining the local = coroner, queried, "Before you signed the death certificate had you = taken the man’s pulse?" "No," the coroner = replied. "Well, then, did you listen for a = heart-beat?" The coroner answered, = "No." "Did you check for respiration? = Breathing?", asked the attorney.…

(First weekday of the month?  Highest quality = word-plays delivered fresh.)   My first job = was a city trash collector. I wasn’t trained for the task, but I = picked it up as I went along.   Is it true = that Beethoven’s favorite fruit was a = BA-NA-NA-NAAA?…

Too many people put off something that brings them = joy just because they haven’t thought about it, don’t have it on their = schedule, didn’t know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from = their routine.   I got = to thinking one day about all…

[Like = my daily posting of minion humor or the grif net blog, my buddy Scott = down the street in Casper shares his daily “grins and = groans”.  Saved some of the best of them from the past few = months to share with you.]   Dry-erase whiteboards in…

TOP TEN THINGS TO SAY ABOUT A CHRISTMAS GIFT YOU = DIDN’T LIKE   10. Hey! There’s a gift!     9. = Well, well, well …     8. = Boy, if I had not recently shot up 4 sizes that would’ve = fit.     7. This is…

[Pe= ople who want to know about me personally have asked how I celebrated = the holidays]   Que= stion: Why was Christmas just like any other day at the office?  = Gri= f: I ended up doing all the work and the fat guy in the suit got all…

[Here are some = important answers to questions you’ve had over Christmas , at = least according to 20 years of lame grif.net = jokes]   Q: Why are = Dasher and Dancer allowed to take coffee breaks? A: Because = they are Santa’s star bucks.   Q: How does…

CHRISTMAS STORY FROM GOSPEL OF = LUKE   "And it came to pass in those days, that there = went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be = taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of = Syria.) And all went…

Despite = our efforts to keep Him out, God intrudes. The life of Jesus is = bracketed by two impossibilities: a virgin’s womb and an empty = tomb.   Jesus = entered our world through a door marked "No Entrance" and left = through a door marked "No Exit."  …

What’s = the best Christmas present?  A broken drum (I heard you just = can’t beat it).   Warning: If = you start a fire in the fireplace on Christmas Eve, you may be visited = by Krisp Kringle.   Any= one who believes that men are the equal of…

If you’ve seen = one Santa, you’ve seen a mall.   I’ve = bought my kids a pack of batteries for Christmas with a note saying: = ‘Toys not included’.   Cash is the = one gift everyone despises and no one turns = down.   Tis the season =…