Daily Humor

Thank God for Fall and the first hard freeze.  Taking c= are of a lawn must be the stupidest thing we’ve come up with in a long time= ! We constantly battle dandelions, Queen Anne’s lace, thistle, violets, chi= cory, and clover that thrive naturally, so we can grow grass…

There are idiots walking among us: ** I was signing t= he receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had ne= ver signed my name on the back of the credit card.  She informed me th= at she could not complete the transaction unless the…

As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her h= usband’s ranch in Wyoming.  She put a shoebox on a shelf in her closet= and asked her husband never to touch it.   For fifty years, Uncle Jack left = the box alone, until Aunt Edna…

Came across a disturbing statistic. Thought about making it a &= #8220;quiz” last Tuesday, but this was just so important for everyone= to see and understand the significance that might be lost otherwise.   = In 2024 on = average, there are 170,790 people in this world who will die…

[Every 25 years on the Grif Net we try to update our definit= ions on Football as applied to the Church. Here is the revision from our Fa= ll 1999 version.]   Halftime – The period between Sunday School and Morning = worship when many choose to leave. &= nbsp;…

[Final funny questions and answers for the whole family to join= in picking up stones and chase after me!!] Q: Why was Paul the firs= t surfer in the Bible?A: In Acts we are told after his shipwreck in the= Mediterranean Sea, he "came ashore on a board". Q: Why…

[More lame riddles/jokes to make the family roll their eyes in = unison.]   Q: What was the first game in the Bible?A: Baseball: Genesis 1:1 sta= rts, “In the big inning”.Eve stole first and Adam stole sec= ond. They both were put out Cain struck = out Abel The…

[In place of our regular weekly quiz, we’ll provide a few= days of FUNNY (and lame) jokes about Bible history. Enjoy the groans of th= e whole family with these old lines.] Q: Where does the Bible teach = that men should clean up the kitchen after a meal?A: II Kings…

The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named = Calle who has a chronic illness, requiring medication. The zoo people could= n’t get Calle to take her dose orally, so a California pharmacologist= developed a suppository.   The 10-inch-long,= four-pound, cocoa-butter bullets are crafted by the good folks at Guittard=…

[Enjo= ying a long Wisconsin autumn and felt like Humpty Dumpty, who also had a gr= eat fall.  Here are some thoughts and sentiments of famous people abou= t this time of year.]   “As long as autumn lasts, I won’t have enough hands, canvas o= r colors to paint…

Few thoughts on life of a senior . . .   >I want to use my retirement time to travel t= he world until my money runs out. I’ll probably be home by 10 pm toni= ght.   >I never knew how much I could get = done while wearing…

Two men were sitting on a bench, waiting for= a bus. At their feet between them lay a dog.   One fellow said to the other, “Hey, does your dog bite?”   The other replied, “Never. He’s a= good dog that never bit anyone.”   So = the first fellow…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0078_01DB1FAE.946DDC80 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_0079_01DB1FAE.946DDC80″ ——=_NextPart_001_0079_01DB1FAE.946DDC80 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit After my oral surgery and getting a full upper denture, I was sitting with my wife on the porch swing and talking about when we were younger. Teresa said, “Remember back when…