Daily Humor

= “I heard about a datin= g site for people my age. It’s called Carbon Dating".   “I define ‘dressing up’ as = putting on a clean pair of pajamas.”   “I’m glad I learned to laugh at trouble when I was younger, = because now I don’t have much else…

= “I believe being young= may be beautiful, but being old is comfortable.” =   “I assume I’m getting old now that everything e= ither dries up or leaks.”   “I= don’t know how I got over the hill without ever making it to the top= =2E”   “I reached…

= “I don’t try to = turn back my odometer; I want people to know why I look this way. I’v= e traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.”   “I have reached the point when I stop= ped lying about my age and started bragging…

= At the end of October 2018 a= t age 70, I suffered a right-brain stroke. After a few days in ICU in the h= ospital, I was allowed to return home but not to preaching. I had very few = “deficits” and the specialist said I was in the…

= “I know my doctor thin= ks I’m getting old when the specialist he referred me to was an archa= eologist.”   “I’m so old= , I remember when the Dead Sea was middle-aged.” &= nbsp; “I’m learning that ‘old people’ are = just ‘young people’ who have been alive…

= “I’ve found the = older we get, the earlier it gets late.   = “I thought about a second career, so took an aptitude test. I found o= ut the work I was best suited for was retirement.”   “I know that money isn’t everything, but it su= re…

= “I was told that, sayi= ng “Oh, this old thing?” isn’t an appropriate way to intr= oduce my wife.”   “I argued wi= th my wife and finally yelled at her, ‘You know, I was a fool when I = married you.’ She replied, ‘That may be true, but…

= “I am not getting old;= I’ve become a classic.”  = &#8= 220;I don’t think I’m having hot flashes, but think my inner ch= ild is definitely playing with matches.”   “I found that a benefit of old age is that my secrets are alwa= ys safe with my friends…

= "I finally got eight ho= urs of sleep and it only took me three days!" &nbsp= ; "I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leave= s the station without me. It’s okay, though, I know it’ll circle back event= ually."   “I was notified that =…

= “Your time is limited,= so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”=AF&nb= sp;Steve Jobs   “Life is really simp= le, but we insist on making it complicated.”=AF Confucius   “The purpose of life is not to be ha= ppy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate,…

= “Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, ‘Never take ca= ndy from strangers.’ And then they dressed me up and said, ‘Go beg for = it.’"   "Have you come to sing pumpkin carols, Charlie Brown?&qu= ot;   “Clothes make a statement. Costumes tell a story.”  …

= What do ghosts have in their= noses?  Boo-gers!   Wh= y did the ghost starch his sheet?  He wanted to scare pe= ople stiff.   = What is a ghost’s favorite d= esert?  I-scream!  = Wha= t kind of horse does a ghost ride?  A night-mare   Where does…

= How do you know you’re in Georgia? When all directions start with &#8= 220;Go down Peachtree …” and include the phrase “When you= see the Waffle House …” How do you know you’re in= Iowa? When you see 100 John Deeres circling a McDonald’s on Prom nig= ht. How…