What do you get when a cow doesn’t give any = more milk? A milk dud What did the cow say when she saw = the farmer at 6 am and again at 6 pm? “Deja moo!” What is the worst part of milking a cow? The smell…
03/23/21 Grif.Net – Whose Side?
The = groom’s mother was so happy that her son, now 35, was finally = getting married. When she arrived at the church for the ceremony, = an usher asked her, “Whose side are you = on?” Dismayed, she = muttered, “Oh, my. I didn’t know they were fighting…
03/22/21 Grif.Net – Hobbies from the Lockdown
[In our area, = everyone has developed new hobbies over the past 12 month government = lockdown:] *The cat is = now collecting hairballs in my slippers *Our aunt = sleeps 10 hours straight and is absolutely loaded for another day of = hand-washing and looking out the…
03/20/21 Weekend Grif.Net – Fearful Journey
Every month = Mart=C3=ADn=E2=80=99s parents took a trip to see Grandma and came home = on the same train the next day. One day the = child said to his parents: =E2=80=B2=E2=80=B2I’m already grown up. Can I = go to my grandma’s alone?" After a brief = discussion,…
03/19/21 Grif.Net – ABC’s of Speaking Southern (part 4)
[Th= is week it is J-K-L at which to marvel] JAWJUH (proper noun). = Highly flammable state just north of Florida.Usage: "My brother = from Jawjah bard my pickup truck." JEE= T (interrogatory). An inquiry of if someone is hungry.Usage: = "Jeet?" "Nah .. didju?" JUI= CY (phrase).Usage:…
03/18/21 Grif.Net – MORE Bovine Funnies
[Yo= u wanted MORE; you won’t admit it, but I know you too = well] Wha= t do you get from pampered cows? Spo= iled milk Wha= t do you call the cow in the herd with the highest milk = production? Dai= ry Queen Wha= t…
03/17/21 Special Grif.Net – Celebrating St. Bob’s Day
[For new = subscribers to the Grif.Net or for those reading the daily blog on www.grif.net or on Facebook – on = Monday-Friday we send out a slightly warped blend of humor. On the = weekend we send out material that is more serious of a moral, ethical, = religious…
03/16/21 Grif.Net – Bovine Funnies
Wha= t do you call a cow with no legs? Gro= und beef. Why= don’t cows ever have money? Far= mers milk them dry Wha= t do you call the knees on a cow? Bur= ger joints Wha= t did mama cow say to her calf at…
03/15/21 Grif.Net – Secret of a Long Life
One day I = boarded a bus for a long trip across the city and sat down next to a = boy. I watched him eat one chocolate candy bar after = another. Being = concerned, I shared, "Young man, eating so much chocolate is not = healthful for…
03/13/21 Weekend Grif.Net – He Makes No Mistakes
&qu= ot;In 1932, A.M. Overton was the pastor of a church in Mississippi. He = had three small children, and his wife was pregnant with their fourth = child. But when it came time for delivery there were complications, and = both his wife and the baby died. Dur=…
03/12/21 Grif.Net – ABC’s of Speaking Southern (part 3)
GRA= IN (adj). Mixture of yellow and blue.Usage: "Mercy … I’s jus = grain with envy!" GRE= E-YUHL (noun). A cooking utensil of parallel bars on which food is = exposed to heat (as from charcoal or electricity).Usage: "Y’all = want me to throw some more ree-yubs on the = gree-yuhl?"…
03/11/21 Grif.Net – Hangin’ Offense
A = cowboy rode into a strange town and saw carpenters finishing work on a = gallows. Not= icing a rider tying up his horse in front of the hotel, he called, = "Hey, are you folks gonna hang someone?" The guy = nodded. "Yup. We’re fixin’ to hang…
03/10/21 Grif.Net – Addition Problem
In = a first-grade classroom the teacher asked, "If I gave you 2 cats = and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you = have?" Jus= tin raised his hand. "Seven." His= teacher replied, "No, listen carefully. If I gave you two cats, = and…