Daily Humor

[La= st day of slave labor from the grandkids helping move boxes. What a way = to spend Easter Break week. Sweat AND lousy jokes. Tough luck, = kids.]   Why= did the teacher love the whiteboard? She just thought it was = remarkable.   My = teacher told me,…

[Kids worked = hard helping clean the garage. They deserve better.  But more lame = jokes. Tough luck, kids.]   Grandpa’s= favorite word is "drool."  It just rolls off his = tongue.   I = like to spend every day as if it’s my last. Staying in bed and calling…

[Grandkids from = California are here for a couple days helping us clean and pack for our = move. Drove 1100 miles.  They want to play Parcheesi with = Grandma.  They don’t want Grandpa jokes.  Batting = .500  Tough luck, kids.]   Why do fish = live in salt water?…

As a young = seminarian, I was gaining experience by teaching children in the = church.  I asked the youngsters about their favorite Bible stories. =   **One said she = liked where Jesus preached while riding a horse. I had to admit I = didn’t recall that event, so…

Dr.= Christianson was Professor of Religion at a small college in the United = States. He taught a required survey course in Christianity and every = student was required to take this course his or her freshman year = regardless of major. Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate =…

What happened with the cow that wandered into a field of = marijuana? The steaks have never been so high   What do you get from the breed of miniature = cows? Condensed milk   Where do cows get their medicine? At the farmacy.   What happens when a cow…

[On the first = weekday of each month we try to lighten the mood with high-quality = humor.  We usually fail.  April is no = exception.]   During the = lockdown I started growing toadstools in my basement to earn extra = money. I am really thankful that business is…

[More missed = steaks in the bulletin]   “The = funeral for the late basketball coach was well attended, with former = players filling the pews and current players acting as = tall-bearers.”   “This = Friday evening is the wedding of Brad and Melody.  They are having = a…

Scott M = boasted: “I got into an argument with my wife over which vowel was = most important.  Just  letting the world know I = won.”   Jim S stated, = “There are two reasons why I don’t trust people.  1. I = don’t know them.  2. I know…

*At the = drugstore: If you enter = the store without a mask, we must take your temperature. p.s. We = only have rectal thermometers.  Choose wisely. =   *At the County = Health Department: We are seeking = couples married for 7 years or more to educate people on…

[In the big city, my parents told me, “When the street lights = come on, you come home. Immediately.  Yours probably reminded you = by saying something similar, like “Be home before dark.” In = areas not served by electricity, travelers feel a pressing need to reach = their destination…

[Listening, at = proper social distance, to what folks around me are saying after a year = of challenges with the duals problems of covid-19 and the government = lockdown]   *I thought I = might need to be tested since I had shortness of breath. Then I = remembered…

(We’ve = all seen typical “bulletin blooper” humor, but here are some = newer ones to make you smile . . or cringe.) “Couples = celebrating anniversaries are eligible for a marriage vow removal = ceremony.”   “Next = Sunday we will have a visiting minister speak at a luncheon. …