= [Another "no-school Mon= day" is finally over, as if just having two weeks off for Christmas Br= eak isn’t enough vacation.]   A mot= her went in to waken her son, saying "Get up, it’s time for school.&qu= ot;   "But why, Mom? I don’t want to go."  …

= A fellow went to the clinic = for his annual physical exam. The doctor did a thorough job and remarked, &= #8220;You are in excellent shape. You must get a lot of exercise.”   He replied, “Yes, I do. For example,= yesterday I walked more than five miles over…

[This is= a reprint from the Grif.Net January 20, 2001, 25 years ago this week. Wond= erful lesson still today.] A few months before the fall of the Berli= n Wall, some of the East Berliners decided they were going to send their We= st Berlin adversaries a little "gift." …

= When teaching a variety of c= ourses in college I quizzed: “When I say, ‘I am the best lookin= g professor’, am I using past, present, or future tense?”   Class responds= in unison: “Past tense.”   Then I added: &= #8220;And if I say, ‘I am also the…

Have you= ever had a week where you thought "I WISH I COULD JUST QUIT. THIS IS = THE WORST JOB”?   Some years ago, the Q-Tip company made a rectal therm= ometer (it was taken off the market). The written material that accompanied= the thermometer (I’m told) explains how…

= [I’ve saved a few upda= tes of friends from the past months]  = Alr= ic S. recommended, “If your body is cremated, your ashes can be put i= n an hour glass so you can continue to participate in family game night.&#8= 221;   Scott M. admitted, “As we…

= [A long-time Grif.Net reader= in England sent this one. Not bad, old chap.] It was the World Cup = Final, and a man made his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sat d= own, noticing that the seat next to him was empty. &nbs= p;…

= It was late in the day when = a fully loaded minivan pulled into the last campsite in the state park. As = soon as it stopped, the doors flew open and four children began rapidly unl= oading the gear and setting up the tent. The boys headed off…

= [I’ve be= en battling a long illness and for the past four months been “locked = down” to reduce stress, allow time for my body to “catch up&#82= 21;, my emotions to “straighten up”, and my mind to focus again= =2E  My heart has “looked up” to God and…

= A policeman in San Diego pul= led over a driver in a pickup truck and noticed the truck bed was full of k= oala bears. The officer said, "You need to take these koalas to the zo= o."   The man agreed and drove off.   The next day,…

= The Secret Service had to change protocol for when President Trump is = in danger. Instead of yelling "get down!", they now yell "Do= nald, duck!" &nbsp= ; Dr Frankenstein entered a body building contest but upon arrival= he realized he misunderstood the objective.   I have a Polish friend…

= Why do fish live in salt = water?  Pepper makes them sneeze.   What do toilets do when they’re embarrassed? = They get a bit flush.   W= ho wins at baseball – pancakes or waffles?  Wa= ffles. They have the best batter.   Wha= t do PHD students In…

=   = DID YOU= KNOW that cannibals won’t eat clowns? I’m told they taste funn= y   DID YOU KNOW that a building maintenan= ce guy lost his legs on the job? Now he’s just a handyman.=   DID YOU KNOW that old skiers never die? They just =…