I NEEDED THE QUIET I needed the quiet so He drew me aside. Into the shadows where we could confide. Away from the bustle where all the day long I hurried and worried when active and strong. I needed the quiet though at first I rebelled But gently, so gently,…
03/18/11 Grif.Net – Long Sermon
Gladys was Pastor Dunn’s wife and accompanied her husband each Sunday to church. One particular Sunday when the sermon seemed to go on forever, many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be sociable, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman. In an attempt to revive…
03/17/11 Grif.Net – Voice Mail
Most of us have now learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing the following: Thank you for calling heaven. For English press 1 For…
03/16/11 Grif.Net – Advice from Juli
[A FaceBook friend named Juli often posts “advice” that makes me chuckle. I compiled some of the worst, er, best of her advice] Obey gravity. It’s the law. Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night If you think you are too small to be effective,…
03/15/11 Grif.Net – Wind in Wyoming
I was standing by the door of the Court House here in Casper talking with a friend. We noticed the wind blowing leaves and trash, swirling all around. The custodian was out on the steps, trying to corral the mess and sweep up debris, She was a very small woman…
03/14/11 Grif.Net – Two Birthdays in One Week!
[For new subscribers to the Grif.Net: on Monday-Friday we send out a slightly warped blend of humor. On the weekend we send out material that is more serious of a moral, ethical, religious or political nature. This in Monday, March 14 and my birthday so thought I would repost this…
03/12/11 Weekend Grif.Net – Church Members
Fred Somebody, Thomas Everybody, Susan Anybody, and Joe Nobody were neighbors, but they were not like you and me. All four belonged to the same church, but not sure we’d enjoy worshipping with them. EVERYBODY went fishing on Sunday or stayed home to visit with friends. ANYBODY wanted to worship…
03/11/11 Grif.Net – Status Updates
[Always enjoy odd “status updates” of my friends who are posting on various social media about such interesting lives they lead] I am reading a book on Glue. Can’t seem to put it down. Busy day. Am headed back to 1988 to pick up a few thousand Microsoft stocks Going…
03/10/11 Grif.Net – Pun of the Month
[Marilyn just forwarded this really bad word play yesterday and I couldn’t wait to hear you all groan together] A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at 3 am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. The chief…
03/09/11 Grif.Net – Put Downs & Come Backs
Sometimes you just need a way to get back at someone for their comments or conduct or character or just the way they are in general. Try a few of these on for size. Look ’em in the eye and say sweetly . . . I suppose your dad walks…
03/08/11 Grif.Net – New Meanings for Existing English Words
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: Coffee, n: The person upon whom one coughs. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. Abdicate, v.…
03/07/11 Grif.Net – New Words in the English Language
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing ONE LETTER, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money…
03/05/11 Weekend Grif.Net – The Ten Good Thoughts (not quite Commandments)
1] Prayer is not a “spare wheel” that you pull out when in trouble; it is a “steering wheel” that directs us in the right path throughout life. 2] Do you know why a car’s WINDSHIELD is so large & the rear view mirror is so small? Because our PAST…