[After the = success of Friday’s “Business Phone Messages” on the = Grif Net blog, we decided to share some ideas for your HOME phone that = we’ve tried.]   ** Hi! Bob’s = answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very = slowly, and I’ll stick…

Though = troubles assail and dangers affright;Though friends should all fail = and foes all unite,Yet one thing secures us, whatever betide:The = Scripture assures us: “The Lord will = provide.”   The birds, = without barn or storehouse, are fed;From them let us learn to trust = for our…

[Messages = overheard when calling some businesses] "Your call is very = important to us. Like, super important. We all bought new outfits for = this call. Our supervisor, Dave, is wearing a wig. Chloe sprained her = ankle racing for the phone. We’ll be with you as soon as…

After 12 years of therapy, my psychiatrist said something that = brought tears to my eyes.   He said, ‘No hablo Ingl=E9s.”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] www.grif.net = "Jesus Knows Me, This I = Love!"  

[Interesting = facts forwarded by a middle school teacher from Indiana. She thought I = might need to learn these.] Q: What were the first cells in your = body?A: Probably lonely   Q: Explain = what “Free Press” means in your = life? A: It is when = my…

Top ten signs you’re getting = older: 10.You and your teeth don’t sleep = together. 9. Your try to straighten out the wrinkles = in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing = any. 8. At the breakfast table you hear = ‘snap, crackle, pop’ and you’re not eating =…

One summer day a tourist from the big city visiting the = countryside brought a dog to the local Veterinarian after its encounter = with a porcupine.   After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and = stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she…

[From the book = "When My Grandmother Was a Child" by Leigh W. Ruttledge, which = begins, "In the summer of 1900, when my grandmother was a = child…"]   *90% of all US = physicians had no college education. Instead, they attended medical = schools, many of which were…

Filling some of the final = positions at Grif Net headquarters for 2018, including . . = . >>Grif Net Political Spokesperson =3D Lou = Scannon   >>Grif Net Manager, Staff Bonus Program = =3D Wendy Pigsfly   >>Grif Net Moving Van Driver =3D Carrie = Desofa   >>Grif Net…

At my age, = I’ve learned that . . .   There are = worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am.  For = example, it could be the right = number.     Now at 700 = I’ve reached the age where ‘happy hour’ is…

Got an email from some friends with two girls and they = shared that they were “expecting” a baby this winter.=A0 I = asked them if they were hoping for another girl or for a boy this = time.=A0 They replied, “With two girls, we’re hoping = for a mail…

Some think that the = USA should adopt the metric system, since our current measurement terms = are ‘outdated’ and ‘archaic’.=A0 Really?=A0 How = much do you know about TRULY archaic = measurements? Match the following measurements of space or = weight with their modern equivalent (and our present system…

[First weekday = of each month we share word-plays. Occasionally one may accidentally be = punny]   Kids that = dislike Brussels sprouts end up with only Brussels Sprouts on their = plates at the end of the meal. Obviously a case of trying to delay the = inedible.  …