A mother held = her new baby that first night in the hospital, and very slowly rocked = him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And while she held = him, she sang: “I’ll = love you forever, I’ll love you for always,As long as I’m living…

[On the first = weekday of each month we share word-play and puns of the = finest-kind]   After his gig = on Star Wars, Darth drove a city cab. Then the IRS charged him with = being a Taxi Vader.   My friend Tina was killed in a freak…

A man went to = his doctor and said, “Doctor, I have a very serious problem. I = only hear half of everything.”   "That = can’t be," answers the doctor. “Either you can hear = everything or you hear nothing.”   Then he added, = “Tell you what, I’ll…

[Great = comedians have compiled humor about husband/wife and marriage. Feel free = to borrow one from their list for your status = update]   My wife and I = have the secret to making our marriage last: Two times a week, we go to = a nice restaurant for…

[Here are the = Top Ten Signs you’re in for a long sermon]   10.  = There’s a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a = cooler.   9.  The = pews have camper hookups.   8.  You = overhear the pastor telling the soundman to have a…

“Sorry I = followed your minivan so closely for 30 miles, but I was watching your = kid’s movie and wanted to see how it = ended.”   “Hi. My = name is Jack and I just accidentally hit your car as I was parking. = People saw me, so…

One day, a = poor boy who was selling books from door-to-door to pay his way through = school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He = decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his = nerve…

I= had a dream the other night. I was in the Old West riding in a = stagecoach.  Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulled up to the left = side of the stagecoach, and a rider-less horse pulled up on the = right. The man leaned down, pulled open…

O= ne evening in New York City, a group of United Nation’s employees = decided to go to a fine restaurant.=A0 This included an Englishman, a = Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an = Indian, several Americans (including an Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an…

From Janice: = “My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am.  2:30 in the = morning!! Can you imagine?  Lucky for him I was still up playing my = drums.”   From Scott: = “Sorry I sprayed WD-40 in your mouth.  But it did stop the = annoying noise…

[Random = thoughts on cars and driving]   “Car = sickness is what you get every month when another payment is = due.”   “Only he = who has traveled the road knows where the pot-holes are = deep.”   “A = mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once,…

[Random = Observations about Driving]   “Someone = complimenting me on my driving. They even left a little note under my = wiper saying, ‘Parking Fine”.   “It = takes 8,640 screws and bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to = scatter it all across the road.”  …

You all know = your grandpa’s house.  Let’s say I have a yearly budget = of $44,070.00 to spend on everything I = need.  And I need a lot, so every dollar is precious. I want = to put a fence around my yard to protect you kids when you’re…