A friend wrote about her experience at the YMCA: “I felt = like my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s = permission to join a fitness club and start = exercising.   Since I’m over 70, I opted to take a beginning aerobics class…

A police dog wanted to advance in his duties, so responded to an ad = for work with the FBI.   "Well," said the personnel director, "You’ll have to = meet some strict requirements.”   First, you must type at least 60 words per minute." =   Sitting down at…

[First weekday = of the month? Yep. More puns a’comin’] An auto club = tow truck stopped beside me at a street light today and the = driver’s head was down and he was wiping away tears. I thought to = myself, "That guy’s headed for a breakdown!" Most = weight…

I stopped at a fast-food restaurant recently. I was fascinated by a = sign which offered “Fat-Free French Fries”. So I decided I = had to give them a try.   I was dismayed when the worker pulled a basket of fries from the = fryer, which was dripping with…

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout = Line   Two Russian Ships Collide, One Dies   Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 = Years   Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One   Drunken Drivers Paid $1000   Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should…

Pastor John Piper said, “The greatest = stumbling block for children in worship is that their parents do not = cherish the hour. Children can feel the difference between duty and = delight. Therefore, the first and most important job of a parent is to = fall in love with…

A recent legal immigrant from Poland went to our local DMV to apply = for a driver’s license. After passing the written test, he went to the = next station and was given a vision exam.   The technician showed him a card with the letters: ‘C Z W I…

A truck loaded with Vick’s Vapor Rub overturned on ta Wyoming = interstate. Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 = hours.   If we put all the cars in America end to end, it would probably be = Labor Day Weekend.   A truck full of marmalade overturned down…

A woman was = found guilty in Traffic Court of an offense, and when asked her = occupation she replied that she was a 3rd grade = teacher.   The judge = solemnly rose from the bench.  “Madam, I’ve waited many = years for a teacher like you to appear…

[Can’t = make this up. 21 real song titles from past decades, including the = artist on whose records they were found.]   Loretta = Lynn/Conway Twitty – “You’re the Reason Our Kids Are so = Ugly”   Roy Clark – = “Thank God (and Greyhound) She’s = Gone”  …

{Now that I’m older, those songs from my teen years may need = slight revising] Herman’s Hermits — “Mrs. Brown, = You’ve Got a Lovely Walker” Bobby Darin’s — = "Splish, Splash, I Was Having A Flash!" The Bee Gees — "How Can You Mend A = Broken Hip?" Roberta…

God proved His = love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God = saying to the world, ‘I love you.’ – Billy = Graham   God loves each = of us as if there were only one of us. – Saint = Augustine  …

[Thanks to Lynn for this story].    I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. The little girl saw an = unwrapped piece of candy on the ground, picked it up and started to put = it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and…