I was concerned about my health. "Doctor, you’ve got = to help me – I just can’t stop my hands shaking!"   He asked, "Do you drink a lot of = water?"   I replied, "Not really – I spill most of it." = So he examined me and said…

Len said, = “Apparently when you donate blood, it has to be your = own.”   Wayne said, “The trampoline was on sale for fifty = per cent off. Needless to say, I jumped on the offer.” Ken = said, “This year I can’t plant flowers because I = haven’t…

A young lady = visited a dating service and requested, "I’m looking for a spouse. = Can you please help me to find a suitable = one?"   The matchmaker = said, "What exactly are you looking = for?"   "Well, = let me think . . . He must…

Confucius says = . . . He who runs ahead of traffic often feels run = down.   He who lags = behind traffic often feels exhausted.   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] = www.grif.net "Jesus = Knows Me, This I Love!"

“Treasures” by Martha Snell = Nicholson One by one He took them = from me,All the things I valued = most,Until I was = empty-handed;Every glittering toy was = lost.   And I walked = earth’s highways, grievingIn my rags and poverty,Till I = heard His voice inviting:“Lift your empty…

[More things that start my brain a = spinnin’]   Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in = hospitals dying of nothing.   Have you noticed since everyone has a cell phone that = takes great pictures these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they…

There was a church where the preacher and = the song leader were not getting along. This began to spill over into = the worship service.   One week the = preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to = service. The song = leader then led…

We completed the family reunion, then headed to a home to = help watch grandkids. Our grandson greeted his grandma with a hug and = said, "I’m so happy to see you, Grandma. Now maybe my Daddy will do = the trick he has been promising us."   Teresa was…

After his appointment, the doctor asked his patient if he = had any other concerns.  The man replied, “Doc, I’m = okay, but maybe my wife needs help.  She thinks she’s a = chicken!"   The doctor inquired, “How long has she had this = condition?"   "Two years." replied…

The big city pre-school teacher was showing pictures of = animals to her students to see how many they could name.   She held up a picture of a lamb, and Lydia said, = "That’s a sheep!"   "That’s right!" said the teacher. "How = about THIS one?" she said,…

  Once to every man and nation comes the moment to decide, = In the strife of Truth with Falsehood, for the good or = evil side; Some great cause, God’s new Messiah, offering each the = bloom or blight, Parts the goats upon the left hand, and the sheep…

Another granddaughter climbed up into my lap and gazed = into my face. Then she asked, "Grandpa, did God make me?" = "He certainly did!" I = replied. Then she touched my wrinkled face and silver hair and = asked, "Did God make you, too?"   "Why, yes he did!"…

An (unnamed) exasperated Grandmother, whose youngest = grandkids were spending the last day of our reunion playing with the = hotel’s automatic doors, tag in the long corridors and squirt gun = fights across the lobby, finally asked the oldest of the bunch, = "How do you expect to get…