[Word plays = brighten the first of each month. Sometimes.]   I decided that = I wanted to learn to drive a stick.  Trouble was, = I couldn’t find a manual.   Wanted to buy = a prime home in Hollywood, but didn’t have the money for the reel = estate.…

The Reformation found = its full voice in Martin Luther on October 31st, 502 years = ago.   If he had used Twitter back then, this is what might = have been said . . .   **Nailed = it.   **When did your tweet = ever merit a papal rebuttal?…

“What = does my wife do? Well, that’s difficult to say. See, she sells = seashells on the seashore.” – Milton Jones   "So, I’m = at the Wailing Wall, standing there, like a moron, with my = harpoon." – Emo Philips   "A hotel = minibar allows you to…

[A grif net = reader sent me this 17 years ago.  Still smile over = it.]   Our = five-year-old son Mark couldn’t wait to tell his father about the movie = we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the = Sea."  The scenes with the submarine and the…

I love the = outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family = eats a considerable amount of wild game.   So much, in = fact, that one evening as I set a platter of broiled venison steaks on = the dinner table, my ten-year-old daughter…

King Canute = (or Cnut] the First of Denmark (AD 985-1035) was a larger-than-life = figure in Anglo-Saxon history.=A0 He led an army into England after the = death of English King =C6thelred ‘the = Unready’, and failure of his son Edmund Ironside to gain support = of the people.…

[Final day of = lousy jokes about the brave men and women in = blue.]   Police = officer: "I’m here to inform you that your son burned down the = school" Parents: = "Arson?"Police officer: "Yes, your = son"   ** Just had two = Detectives at my front…

[Encounters = with the police should not be frightening. Just give honest answers and = they will let you go.] I was pulled over last night and the = officer asked me if I had a police record. I told him = “No, but I have a couple albums by…

[Famous = comedians enjoy good-natured pokes at the = police]   I don’t = think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses. The whole time the guy was = chewing me out all I could think was I should cut my = bangs. Bonnie = McFarlane   In Montana a = highway…

Someone stole = the wheels off a police car.The police are working tirelessly to = find the perpetrator.   Someone stole = all the toilet seats at the police station.Officers said they are = searching but still have nothing to go on.   Someone stole = all the blunt pencils…

Here are some = famous Crime Fiction books enjoyed by the = police:   “Good = Detective Work”by Mr. E Solved   “Getting = the Truth” by Paul E. = Graff   “French = Police Techniques” by Jean = D’Arm   “Be = Prepared”by Justin Case   “Old-Fash= ioned Jailhouse…

While at the = park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a = playground.  “That’s my son over there,” she = said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the = slide.  “He’s a fine looking…

We have lots = of old VCR tapes of “classic” stories.  When my = granddaughter was three, we watched the animated “Snow White and = the Seven Dwarfs” with her for the first time. =   You know the = story. The wicked queen appeared, disguised as an old lady…