News Release: New York City. A truck loaded with cases of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed as it lef= t a New York printer last night.  According to the Associated = Press, witnesses said they were stunned, startled, aghast, taken back, stup= efied, confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mi= xed…

I know you have been wondering why baby diapers have= brand names such as "Luvs", "Huggies", and "Pampe= rs’, while undergarments for old people are called "Depends".   H= ere’s why.   When babies go in their pants, people are still gonna L= uv ’em, Hug ’em and Pamper’ em.…

A Church-goer wrote a letter to the editor o= f a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Su= nday. He wrote: "I’ve gone for 30 years now, and in that time I have h= eard something like 3,000 sermons, but for the life…

What day is worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the whatever.   What do you call someone in a Hollywood h= orror movie who wakes up on Saturday the 14th?= Lucky. Why do fish hate Friday the 13th? Actually, they hate every fry day.   Why did the old m=…

Rhonda C.inquired, “What has 4 letters= , sometimes 9 letters but never 5 letters?”   David A. boasted, “Saw an ad for a used car that said it ran g= ood, but the radio volume was ‘stuck on high’. Such a great dea= l I just couldn’t turn it down.”…

[Here are some famous sentences from literature.  Your tas= k, if you choose to accept it, is to give either the BOOK or the AUTHOR fro= m which we lifted the sentence.  To REALLY show mastery, you may give = them BOTH. Or just read the sentences and smile and…

[Here is the top 25 Oxymoron List as published October 26t= h, 1998, in the Grif Net Blog.  The answer to your question is &= #8220;Yes, you’ve been wasting your brain power reading this stuff fo= r way too long.”]   25.    Childproof __________ 24.    "Now, then …" 23.    Synthetic…

Here is part of the list of 50 common oxymorons for your enjoym= ent. In case you’re wondering, "Grif Net Humor" is NOT on t= he list   50.    Act naturally 49.&nb= sp;   Found missing 48. &nbsp= ;  Resident alien 47.   = Advanced BASIC 46.    Genuin= e imitation 45.    Airline Fo= od…

[The first weekend of each month is a time to encourage and ins= pire our blog readers to greater achievement and aspiration.] &#8220= ;It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”= ~ Theodore Roosevelt   “It had long since come to my attention that…

A Minnesota farmer died and went to hell.  He was enjoy= ing himself so much that Satan went to check his gauges.  It said 98 d= egrees and 80% humidity. The Devil asked the farmer why he was so happy.&nb= sp; The farmer replied, "This is just like working out…

[Forwarded for our use by Pastor Otis N.]   A church secretary= picked up the phone and heard a Texan’s voice on the other end saying, &qu= ot;I want to talk to the head hog at the trough!"   Puzzled, the secret= ary said, "Excuse me, sir?"   He repeated;…

[Since I omitted the Land Down Under in our = quiz on the five major continents, I promised we would have a quiz JUST abo= ut Australia.  Everyone play nice and see if you actually can get at l= east 5 of 20 correct.  Losers will get a yummy vegemite…

[My post 10 days ago about a “$tudent” and his not-so-su= btle request from college for money from his father brought interesting res= ponses.  My undergrad buddy David S. from back at Pillsbury College in= the 60’s sent this short note.] College kid to dad: “No mon, no fun, your…