Fly Lutheran Air: If you are traveling soon-consider Luthera=
n Air, the no-frills airline-you’re all in the same boat on Lutheran Air. W=
here flying is an uplifting experience.
Remember
~There is no First Class on any Lutheran Air flight.
~Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls, 7-15 bring a=
salad, 16-21 a main dish, and 22-30 a dessert.
~Basses and tenors please sit in the rear of the aircraft.
~Everyone is responsible for his or her own luggag=
e.
~All fares are by freewill offering,=
and the plane will not land until the budget is met.
=
Now pay attention to =
your flight attendant who will acquaint you with the safety system aboard t=
his Lutheran Air 599:
"Okay then. Listen up; I’m only gonna say this o=
nce: in the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to=
be real surprised and so will Captain Olson because we fly right at around=
2000 feet, so loss of cabin pressure would probably indicate the Second Co=
ming or something of that nature, and I wouldn’t bother with these little m=
asks on the rubber tubes, you’re gonna have bigger things to worry about th=
an that. Just stuff those back up in their little holes. Remember, th=
e masks probably fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest with yo=
u, we’re going to have quite a bit of it at 2000 feet, sort of like driving=
across a plowed field, but after awhile you get used to it. In the event o=
f a water landing, I’d say forget it. Start saying the Lord’s Prayer and ju=
st hope to gosh you get to the part about forgive us our sins as we forgive=
those who sin against us, which some people say "trespass" again=
st us, which isn’t right, but what can you do?
The use of cell phones on th=
e plane is strictly forbidden, not because they may interfere with the plan=
e’s navigational system-which is seat of the pants all the way-no, it’s bec=
ause cell phones are a pain in the wazoo and if God meant you to use a cell=
phone, He would’ve put your mouth on the side of your head.
We’re going to=
start lunch right about noon and it’s buffet style and the coffee pot is u=
p front and then we’ll have the hymn sing-hymnals in the seat pocket in fro=
nt of you, and don’t take yours with you when you go or I am going to be re=
al upset and I am not kidding, and right now I’ll say grace:
God is great a=
nd God is good, and we thank Him for the Food, Father, Son and Holy Ghost, =
May we land in Dallas or at least pretty close.
Amen.
=
~~=
Dr. Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net =
=
220;1 cross + 3 nails =3D 4 given”