[A nurse who worked for years with the dying wrote a list of=
the top 5 regrets people say aloud on their deathbed. This confirmed=
my desire NOT to say any of these.]
1. "I wish I’d had the courage to live=
a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."
This was the m=
ost common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost ove=
r and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone =
unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams a=
nd had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made or not made.=
It i=
s very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the wa=
y. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings=
a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.
2. "I wish I did=
n’t work so hard."
=
This came from every male patient that I nursed. Th=
ey missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women a=
lso spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many o=
f the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed de=
eply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work e=
xistence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the w=
ay, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by cre=
ating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new oppo=
rtunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.
3. "I wish I’d had the c=
ourage to express my feelings."
Many people suppressed their feeling=
s in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a medio=
cre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Man=
y developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carrie=
d as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although peop=
le may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly=
, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level.=
Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Eith=
er way, you win.
4. "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."
Often=
, they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their=
dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had be=
come so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships s=
lip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friend=
ships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends=
when they are dying.
=
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friends=
hips slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical=
details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs i=
n order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true impo=
rtance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of t=
hose they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage t=
his task.
It is all comes down to love an=
d relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, lo=
ve and relationships.
=
5. "I wish that I had let myself be happier."
This is=
a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happine=
ss is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-ca=
lled ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as th=
eir physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to th=
eir selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh =
properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, =
what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be =
able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
Continue steadfastly in prayer,
being watchful in it with thanksgiving.=