Baseball & football are the two most popular spectator sports in this
country. And as such, it seems they tell us something about ourselves and
our values. I enjoy comparing baseball and football:
Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a 20th-century
technological struggle.
Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park. Football is played on a
gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial
Stadium.
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in
the fall, when everything’s dying.
In baseball you wear a cap. In football you wear a helmet.
Baseball is concerned with ups – who’s up? Football is concerned with downs
– what down is it?
In baseball you make an error. In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody. In football the
specialist comes in to kick
Baseball has the sacrifice. Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling
on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
In baseball, if it rains, we don’t go out to play. Football is played in any
kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog.
Baseball has the seventh inning stretch. Football has the two minute
warning.
Baseball has no time limit: we don’t know when it’s gonna end – might have
extra innings. Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we’ve got
to go to sudden death.
In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there’s kind of a picnic
feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there’s not too much
unpleasantness. In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure
that at least twenty-seven times you’re capable of taking the life of a
fellow human being.
And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe. In football the object
is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target
with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with
deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With
short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy
territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that
punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy’s defensive line.
I’m glad baseball season is over and it’s time for real men to play
football.
[adapted from writings of George Carlin]
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”