[Scientific studies on differences between men and women have been recently
presented. We will break them down and share them this week on the Grif.Net.
You’re welcome.]
1 – RELATIONSHIPS:
WOMEN: When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to
her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled “All Men Are Idiots”. Then
she will get on with her life.
MEN: A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the
break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, “I just
wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I
hate you, and you’re a total floozy. But I want you to know there’s always a
chance for us”. This is known as the “I Hate You/I Love You” phone call,
that 99% of all men have made at least once.
2 – MATURITY
WOMEN: They mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can
function as adults.
MEN: Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each
other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work.
3 – HATS
WOMEN look good in hats (exception: Queen Elizabeth, but she has other
problems)
MEN look like dorks, especially in baseball caps worn indoors
4 – COMEDY
MEN: Let’s say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching
television, and an episode of “The Three Stooges” comes on. Immediately, the
men will get very excited; they will laugh uproariously, and even try to
imitate the actions of Curly, man’s favorite stooge.
WOMEN will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.
5 – HANDWRITING
MEN, to their credit, do not decorate their penmanship. They just
chicken-scratch.
WOMEN use scented, colored stationary and they dot their “i’s” with circles
and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their “p’s” and “g’s”. It
is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she’s dumping you,
she’ll put a smiley face at the end of the note.
6 – BATHROOMS
MEN have, at most, six items in his bathroom – a toothbrush, toothpaste,
shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
WOMEN: The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 437. A
man would not be able to identify most of these items.
7 – GROCERIES
WOMEN make a list of things they need and then goes to the store and buys
these things.
MEN wait till the only items left in his fridge are half a lemon and
something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything
that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is
packed tighter that the Clampett’s car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course,
this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.
8 – GOING OUT ON A DATE:
MEN: When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out.
WOMEN: When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready
to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her
makeup…
9 – SHOES
WOMEN: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and
then slip into Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic
bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes.
Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under her
desk.
MEN: A man will wear one pair of shoes for the entire day.
10 – CATS
WOMEN love cats.
MEN say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given