[A wonderful cyber-friend sent this note - Keep it up, Dr. Bob. I enjoy
every hour of it! My parents named me Bill because I came near the first of
the month (5-5-20). Wow,
that makes me 90 years old and still enjoying Grif.Net!]
While crossing the US-Mexican border on a bicycle, the man was stopped [...]
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down
Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.”
“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels
in jail until the chief gets back.”
“But, officer, I just wanted to say . . .”
“And I said to keep [...]
I saw a neatly printed sign near the grocery store the other day that said:
NEED HELP? CALL JESUS
1-800-005-3787
Out of curiosity, I did.
A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”
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“Walking To School The First Day Back” by Misty Bus
“What I Dislike About Returning To School” by Mona Lott
“The Day the Car Pool Forgot Me” by I. Rhoda Bike
“How to Join MENSA” by Gene Yuss
“Can’t See the Chalkboard” by Sidney Backrow
“Using Webster’s for Term Papers” by Dick Shunnary
“Practical Jokes I Played On the First Day [...]
In 1832, he was a 22-year old business failure.
That same year he ran for the State Legislature and was defeated.
In 1833, he was a business failure once again.
In 1836, he suffered a nervous breakdown.
In 1838, he lost in an effort to become Speaker of the House in the State
Legislature.
Five years later, he ran for US [...]
Aged 17, Marty had just received his first drivers license. The family
trooped out to the driveway, and climbed in the car for him to take them for
a ride for the first time. Dad immediately headed for the back seat,
directly behind the newly minted driver.
“I’ll bet you’re back there to get a change of scenery after [...]
Before going in for surgery I thought it would be funny if I posted a note
on myself telling the surgeon to be careful. I used a magic marker across my
stomach and chuckled thinking of the doctor’s reaction when he saw it.
After the surgery I found that message gone and next to the surgical
incision was another [...]
Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to
operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York, says, ‘I like to see accountants on my
operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is
numbered.’
The second, from Chicago, responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try electricians!
Everything inside them is color coded.’
The [...]
I thought I was having a BAD night when I woke up and found that my water
bed had sprung a leak.
Then I realized that it was a REALLY bad night. I don’t own a water bed.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
bob@grif.net www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”
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[School is starting so thought a few Student/Teacher laughs might brighten
the dismal outlook (of teachers AND students)]
Student: “I don’t think I deserved zero on this test!”
Teacher: “I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you!”
~~
Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?
Student: I get up early!
~~
Teacher: I told you [...]
It is easy to look at our sports heroes and remember only their
accomplishment and hall-of-fame careers. We forget that they set some “bad”
records, too. But the focus should always be on the good when we are
looking at others. And hope THEY are looking at us the same way!!
TY COBB = most times (38) [...]
[A friend heard this story from Beth and claims it is true]
My husband’s name is Bud and my name is Beth.
After all the kids had grown and left home, my married son bought us an
anniversary sign to hang outside by our house numbers at the front door. It
simply read:
“Bud Beth and Beyond”
~~
Dr Bob [...]
On a visit to the Mayan ruins at Tulum on the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico, I
was impressed by how many facts and details the local tour guide knew. I was
especially entranced by the temple, and asked the guide for details. To
this, the guide stated that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and
still finding great treasures.
I asked [...]
