With the new “POLITICALLY CORRECT” language around, I thought as a retired
college prof that I should help all parents interpret the end of the year
notes and report card you will soon be receiving:
You can’t fail a class anymore; you are merely “passing impaired.”
You don’t have to attend summer school; you’re just one of the “exit
delayed.”
Your dorm room isn’t cluttered; it’s just “passage restrictive.”
You aren’t lazy; you’re “energetically declined.”
Your locker isn’t overflowing with junk; it’s just “closure prohibitive.”
Your child is not grounded; she has merely hit “social speed bumps.”
You don’t talk a lot; you’re just “abundantly verbal.”
Your homework isn’t missing; it’s just having an “out-of-notebook
experience.”
You’re not sleeping in class; you’re “rationing consciousness.”
You’re not late; you just have a “rescheduled arrival time.”
You’re not having a bad hair day; you’re suffering from “rebellious follicle
syndrome.”
You’re not shy; you’re “conversationally selective.”
You weren’t texting in class; you were “participating in the discreet
exchange of meditations.”
You’re not being sent to the dean’s office; you’re “going on a mandatory
field trip to the administrative building.”
It’s not gossip anymore; it’s the “speedy transmission of near-factual
information.”
The food at the school dining hall isn’t awful; it’s “digestively
challenged.”
From Dr. Bob, your teacher, who is not really that tall; just “vertically
enhanced.”
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”