Busy month so checkin’ my diary. In May . . I stopped by the BMW dealer’s, but I left quickly when I saw the prices! It was a near-debt experience. I wanted to say “Beamer up, Scotty.” I read the classic book about paying alimony. It was called “The Bounty…
05/30/12 Grif.Net – More ‘Did You Know’ Factoids
Did you know that in Japanese, tofu translates roughly as ‘whale snot’? Did you know in Wyoming we do not cultured oil anywhere? It is all crude oil. Did you know diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans. Did you know that fear of meeting a fat man in…
05/29/12 Grif.Net – How Much
[Thanks to Jack for the humor forward] One evening after dinner, I asked my six-year-old, “How much do you love me?” “A million dollars,” he replied. “Is that all?” I responded, with a grin. “I love you ALL the dollars,” my son said. So I asked, “What about the guilders?”…
05/28/12 Grif.Net – Reasons to Enlist in the Military
[Some wonder what are some good reasons to enlist. On this Memorial Day holiday, I share explanations from many in the armed forces] You should enlist in the military if . . . . . you’ve ever asked WWWDWOA? (what would we do without acronyms?) . . you enjoy being…
05/26/12 Memorial Weekend Grif.Net – Psalm for our Service Members
PSALM 20 May the Lord answer you in the day of trouble! May the name of the God of Jacob set you securely on high! May He send you help from the sanctuary, and support you from Zion! May He remember all your meal offerings, and find your burnt offerings…
05/25/12 Grif.Net – More Questions without Answers
[Lots of “questions” or “ponderables” floating on the ‘net. Some funny. But interested to see some newer ones from time to time.] Do chickens think rubber humans are funny? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4s”? Do those poker playing dogs own paintings of humans playing “fetch”? Does distressed…
05/24/12 Grif.Net – Term Paper Due
Dad asked his teenaged son, “It’s May 24th and just a couple weeks left of school. How’s that big history paper coming?” His son replied with a smile, “Well, my teacher suggested that I use the internet for research, and it’s been very helpful. The paper is almost done!” “Really?”…
05/23/12 Grif.Net – Final Questions of the School Year
Teacher: Don’t you want to be in the top half of your graduating class? Pupil: I’m content to be one of the students who make the top half possible! Teacher: The picture of the horse is good, but where is the wagon? Pupil: Isn’t the horse supposed to draw it?…
05/22/12 Grif.Net – New Student
It was the last few weeks of school, but the fourth grade class got a new student – the son of a Japanese businessman who had just moved to town. The teacher greeted the class, introduced 10-year old Toshiba, and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said…
05/21/12 Grif.Net – Mary
Mary had a little lamb, Its fleece was slightly gray. It didn’t have a father, Just some borrowed DNA. It sort of had a mother, Though the ovum was on loan. It was not so much a lambkin As a little lamby clone. And soon it had a fellow clone,…
05/19/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Tribute to Teachers
WHAT TEACHERS MAKE (OR, IF THINGS DON’T WORK OUT YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO LAW SCHOOL) by Taylor Mali He says the problem with teachers is What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher? He reminds the other…
05/18/12 Grif.Net – Memory
An old elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle asleep on a log. Looking irritated, he ambled on over and kicked the turtle clear across to the other side of the river. “What did you do that for?” asked a passing giraffe. “Because…
05/17/12 Grif.Net – Advice on Bears
A young boy from New York was being led through the mountainous back country near Lander, Wyoming, by his friend. “Is it true,” he asked, “that a grizzly bear won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?” “That depends,” replied his young guide, “on how fast you can carry the…