Grif.Net

Richard G = shared, “Guy texted me = about how I can make it rich selling Egyptian antiquities. After some = research. I discovered it was just a pyramid = scheme.”   Ken H looked = at his wife: “You make my heart beat faster than a delivery from =…

A = frog went to a fortune teller to find out if he would ever be lucky in = love.  The fortune teller read his palm and told the frog, "I = have good news and I have bad news. Which would you like to hear = first?"   The=…

A = woman was out golfing and hit the ball deep into the woods. When she = went to look for it she found a frog in a trap.   The= frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant = you three wishes."  …

[Start every = month with puns. May the farce be with you.]   No one knew I = had a dental implant until it came out when I was = preaching.   How= was Rome split in two? By a pair of Ceasars.   A = scarecrow said, "This job…

[We= NEED to remember the message of this poem by Charles Meigs written in = 1902]   Lor= d, help me live from day to day In = such a self-forgetful way Tha= t even when I kneel to pray My = prayer shall be for Others.   Hel= p…

AHM= A (contraction).Usage: "Ahma gonna sit rat cheer til = foe the safnoon." AIG= S (noun). Preborn chickens.Usage: "Honey … git me another = play-it of beckon and aigs." ALL (noun). A petroleum-based lubricant.Usage: = "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup = truck."   ANO= MALY (phrase). My usual…

I am definitely a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy. Once, = while getting dinner ready, my daughter asked me how I liked my = vegetables prepared.   I answered simply, “Fed to a cow, so they’ll = turn into steak.”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = bob@grif.net = www.grif.net "Jesus =…

Joh= n lived his life by statistics and was afraid to fly. One day his = friend, Bill, asked, "Why do you have this irrational fear of = flying?"   &qu= ot;Irrational?" John replied, "Not at all.  I’ve merely = calculated the odds of a bomb being placed on a…

Many churches have a sign where = they can change messages each week to challenge those just passing = by.  In recent weeks it read . . .   **SIGN BROKEN. COME INSIDE FOR = MESSAGE   **IF YOU CAN’T SLEEP, = DON’T COUNT SHEEP. TALK TO THE SHEPHERD  …

[Another round of trivia about my = adopted home state of Wisconsin where my wife and I will soon be living = after our upcoming retirement]   1. In 1634, what French explorer = left Quebec, traveled the Great Lakes and traversed = Wisconsin?   2. In 1844, Jerome Case…

[Wo= rds from famous authors about the winter months]   &qu= ot;It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind = blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the = shade." – Charles = Dickens   &qu= ot;O, wind,…

Six= th-grader Seth’s father picked him up from school to take him to a = dental appointment. Kno= wing the acting roles for the school play were being posted that day, he = asked Seth if he got a part.   Set= h enthusiastically announced that he’d gotten a part.…

Whe= n her child was to begin school, a wife started to think that she did = not look like them or anyone in either family.  So she decided to = do a DNA test.   The= results came back, showing the child is not actually related to either =…