Grif.Net

[Final funny questions and answers for the whole family to join= in picking up stones and chase after me!!] Q: Why was Paul the firs= t surfer in the Bible?A: In Acts we are told after his shipwreck in the= Mediterranean Sea, he "came ashore on a board". Q: Why…

[More lame riddles/jokes to make the family roll their eyes in = unison.]   Q: What was the first game in the Bible?A: Baseball: Genesis 1:1 sta= rts, “In the big inning”.Eve stole first and Adam stole sec= ond. They both were put out Cain struck = out Abel The…

[In place of our regular weekly quiz, we’ll provide a few= days of FUNNY (and lame) jokes about Bible history. Enjoy the groans of th= e whole family with these old lines.] Q: Where does the Bible teach = that men should clean up the kitchen after a meal?A: II Kings…

The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named = Calle who has a chronic illness, requiring medication. The zoo people could= n’t get Calle to take her dose orally, so a California pharmacologist= developed a suppository.   The 10-inch-long,= four-pound, cocoa-butter bullets are crafted by the good folks at Guittard=…

[Enjo= ying a long Wisconsin autumn and felt like Humpty Dumpty, who also had a gr= eat fall.  Here are some thoughts and sentiments of famous people abou= t this time of year.]   “As long as autumn lasts, I won’t have enough hands, canvas o= r colors to paint…

Few thoughts on life of a senior . . .   >I want to use my retirement time to travel t= he world until my money runs out. I’ll probably be home by 10 pm toni= ght.   >I never knew how much I could get = done while wearing…

Two men were sitting on a bench, waiting for= a bus. At their feet between them lay a dog.   One fellow said to the other, “Hey, does your dog bite?”   The other replied, “Never. He’s a= good dog that never bit anyone.”   So = the first fellow…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0078_01DB1FAE.946DDC80 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_0079_01DB1FAE.946DDC80″ ——=_NextPart_001_0079_01DB1FAE.946DDC80 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit After my oral surgery and getting a full upper denture, I was sitting with my wife on the porch swing and talking about when we were younger. Teresa said, “Remember back when…

Who’s pulling the strings or doing the= talking or moving the arms? We all know famous puppets, marionettes, and m= uppets. BUT do you know who created these loveable critters that have seeme= d to take on lives of their own? Some easy, some hard. These were the inven= tors…

[Reading some puns and word-play on-line, and still smiling at = how smart some folks are compared to my addled brain.  Examples? = As grandma in Minnesota always said, “Youbetcha”. Here are few= =2E]   *= *I have a prosthetic toe made from breath mints. I call it my Tic-Tac-Toe.  …

When Christopher Columbus and his one-hundred-men crew pushed o= ff from Palos de la Frontera, Spain, in search of a western sea route to As= ia in 1492, many weren’t so sure they’d ever see him again.   The Itali= an-born explorer had lobbied earnestly for funding for the trip,…

A Sunday School teacher was laboring hard at explaining the = evils of sin to his young charges. "God told Lot to take his wife and = flee out of the city. But when they were just a little way off, his wife lo= oked back and turned into a…

Mike B. announced, “Merriam-Webster added 200 new words. = To make space, they got rid of words nobody uses anymore, like ‘dicti= onary’.”   Candy S. wondered, “Find it amusing my husband won&#8= 217;t let me pick up his new MacBook Pro because he’s afraid I’= ll drop it, but…