Grif.Net

Here is part of the list of 50 common oxymorons for your enjoym= ent. In case you’re wondering, "Grif Net Humor" is NOT on t= he list   50.    Act naturally 49.&nb= sp;   Found missing 48. &nbsp= ;  Resident alien 47.   = Advanced BASIC 46.    Genuin= e imitation 45.    Airline Fo= od…

[The first weekend of each month is a time to encourage and ins= pire our blog readers to greater achievement and aspiration.] &#8220= ;It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”= ~ Theodore Roosevelt   “It had long since come to my attention that…

A Minnesota farmer died and went to hell.  He was enjoy= ing himself so much that Satan went to check his gauges.  It said 98 d= egrees and 80% humidity. The Devil asked the farmer why he was so happy.&nb= sp; The farmer replied, "This is just like working out…

[Forwarded for our use by Pastor Otis N.]   A church secretary= picked up the phone and heard a Texan’s voice on the other end saying, &qu= ot;I want to talk to the head hog at the trough!"   Puzzled, the secret= ary said, "Excuse me, sir?"   He repeated;…

[Since I omitted the Land Down Under in our = quiz on the five major continents, I promised we would have a quiz JUST abo= ut Australia.  Everyone play nice and see if you actually can get at l= east 5 of 20 correct.  Losers will get a yummy vegemite…

[My post 10 days ago about a “$tudent” and his not-so-su= btle request from college for money from his father brought interesting res= ponses.  My undergrad buddy David S. from back at Pillsbury College in= the 60’s sent this short note.] College kid to dad: “No mon, no fun, your…

[Usually have a list of lousy puns or word plays as each month = begins. But this story caught my eye, so opted for a more cerebral entree.]= King Ozymandias of Babylon and Assyria was running low on cash= after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was…

[Thom Rainer shared his thoughts on use of “devices&#8221= ; in church.  Interesting thoughts. Talk amongst yourselves.]   I noticed several people in the church using their smartphones or tabl= ets, presumably as a digital Bible or a digital notetaker. For those I coul= d see from my vantage point,…

A number of words are NOUNS when you emphasi= ze the FIRST syllable but become VERBS when you emphasize the SECOND syllab= le. No change in spelling, just accenting/emphasis. Interesting. How= was I 76 years old, a lover of words, and yet nobody ever taught me this? = Wait. I’m…

A pastor was walking through the new town to= which he was called to minister. He stopped on the sidewalk to ask a young= lad where the post office was.   The boy poi= nted down the street. “Three blocks ahead, then left a block and you = can’t miss…

What happened at the wedding of two nuclear = technicians? The bride wa= s radiant, and the groom was glowing   Why di= d Shakespeare always write with a pen? Because pencils made him ask, &#= 8220;2B or not 2B?”   Why do meteorolog= ists try to weigh a rainbow?…

I read a book about glue and couldn’t = seem to put it down.   I read a book about c= locks since I figured it was about time.   I = read a book about mazes and got lost in it.   I read a book about anti-gravity but…

A lad was going to his first day of school. He looked worried, = so his mom asked him, "What’s wrong?" Nervously, the kid asked, "How long do I have t= o go to school for?" "Well, yo= u’ll go until you’re 18", replied his mother. The boy nodded, obviously…