Grif.Net

[Clever = wordplay from Tom Swifty, version = “H”]   "Boy, = that’s an ugly hippopotamus!" said Tom = hypocritically.   "Quick, = start a fire!" bellowed Tom heatedly.   "These = boxing gloves must weigh 4 pounds each," said Tom heavy-handedly. =   "The = doctors had to remove…

[None of these = are original with me. All of these receive a hearty “Amen” = from me. Some wise words from Dakota ranchers, Indiana farmers, = Massachusetts truck drivers, Missouri mothers, or Florida = vets.]   Live a good, = honorable life. Then when you get older and think…

Several years ago, we headed to a nearby town to visit = some relatives. I had a new car and was having fun driving fast on the = twisty country roads.   As we zoomed along, I noticed a three-legged chicken = keeping pace with me. I slowed to get…

I tell my grandkids that I was too shy to ever talk to the = pretty girl I really liked.    One day she was skating where the ice was thin. When it = broke, she fell right in.   I heard her cry out and jumped right in and…

After = describing his many travels to stores, restaurants, casinos, taverns, = gas stations, and even in the occasional birthday card to another city, = the $20 dollar bill asked the $1 dollar bill, "What about you? = Where have you been?" The $1 dollar = proudly replied, "Well, I’ve…

If not for = chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire = garment industry would be devastated.  You can’t let that happen, = can you?   Read right = here that white chocolate may keep your teeth bright. If it’s = on the grif net blog,…

If you’ve got = melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too = slowly.   = Chocolate = covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as = fruit, so eat as many as you want.   = The problem: = How to get 2 pounds of…

[None of these = are original with me. All of these receive a hearty “Amen” = from me. Some wise words from Montana ranchers, Iowa farmers, New = Jersey truck drivers, Alaskan mothers, or Kentucky = vets.]   Borrowing = trouble from the future doesn’t deplete the = supply.  …

I have an = inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good = one.   When life = gives you melons, you’re dyslexic.   Rest in peace, = boiled water. You will be mist.   I like telling = Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs.   You can tell a =…

Working in her garden with our little grandson, the lad = asked, “When weeding your garden, how can you tell the difference = between a weed and a vegetable?” G’ma shared the #1 = rule she’d learned – Pull on it, and if it doesn’t come up, = it’s a…

[A few weeks = ago, we shared some old and new oxymorons. After a little more research, = we offer these additions] IN LITERATURE . . = .Sweet sorrow (Shakespeare – Romeo and = Juliet) Listen loudly = (Nour) Falsely true = (Tennyson) Melancholy = merriment (Byron) Scalding = coolness (Hemmingway)Cruel…

A story is = told about the Rev Billy Graham who was walking down Highland Street in = North Carolina on his way to see a parishioner. However, he wanted to = mail a parcel urgently, so he asked a young boy where he could find the = Post Office.…

Aft= er dinner one night, I asked my son to get a broom from the back porch = so I could sweep the floor.   Com= plaining, he said, “But it’s dark out there. I’m = afraid.”   I = reminded him, “It’s OK, God is with you.”   Slo=…