IT’S = WORLD SERIES TIME! [In the middle of football season. = Duh.] Baseball is different from any other sport. For instance, = in most sports you score points or goals; in baseball you score runs. In = most sports the ball, or object, is put in play by the…
10/28/22 Grif.Net – Training
With cold = weather settling in I must begin training for my favorite winter = sport. Extreme = Hibernation. Still waiting = for its acceptance as an Olympic sport, but I consider myself an early = gold medal hopeful. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] = www.grif.net…
10/27/22 Grif.Net – More Football Noose
The University = of Nigeria football team apologized for their poor performance in = yesterday’s exhibition game against Michigan = State. They will be = issuing refunds for anyone who purchased tickets. Just send in your bank = details and pin number . . . ~~A Miami = Dolphin…
10/26/22 Grif.Net – Makes Scents to Me
Read an article about Delta Airlines that is infusing its = cabins with a lavender-and-chamomile scent called Calm. “The = Week” publication asked its readers to suggest a better name to = match “the ambience of the packed economy cabin.” = “Eau the Humanity” “Giorgio’s Arm-on-me” “Chanel No.…
10/25/22 Grif.Net – Last Word from Famous Mothers
Humpty = Dumpty’s mother: “Humpty, If I’ve told you once, = I’ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would = you listen to me? No!” ~~ Paul = Revere’s mother: "I don’t care where you think you have to = go, young man.…
10/24/22 Grif.Net – Football Night in America
I retired to = Wisconsin but am still cheering on my Minnesota Vikings. Neighbors = asked why I don’t support the cheese = heads. I tell them, = “No offense, the Green Bay Packers are really bad at = football. Literally.̶= 1; ~~ How many = Clemson University football…
10/22/22 Weekend Grif.Net – Escape
The greater = the mass, the greater the hold that mass exerts. The more things we own = – the greater their total mass – the more they grip us, setting us in = orbit around them. Finally, like = a black hole, they suck us in. ‘Givi= ng’…
10/21/22 Grif.Net – Ocean View
A man called, furious about an Orlando, Florida, vacation = package we had booked for him. Evidently, he was expecting an ocean-view = hotel room. In Orlando. I explained that was not possible since = Orlando is in the middle of the state, 100+ miles to the Gulf and 50+…
10/20/22 Grif.Net – More from the Soccer Sidelines
A soccer = referee picked up his phone during a match. It said **14 Missed = Calls**. Nothing unusual about that. Why is = women’s soccer so rare? It’s = quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same = outfit. What’s worse = than the…
10/19/22 Grif.Net – Soccer Sidelines
Not saying = that the team is doing poorly, but the soccer coach was heard yelling at = his team at halftime:"I TOLD YOU TO PLAY LIKE NEVER BEFORE, NOT = PLAY LIKE YOU’VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE" Why was even = the team=E2=80=99s dog bad at soccer? Because he…
10/18/22 Grif.Net – Bad Weather Q&A
Q: What do you = call a weather joke with a bad punchline? A: An = anti-climactic climatic joke. Q: “This = is Bay A requesting weather report from secondary = base" A: “Bay = B. It’s cold outside" Q: If you = spend five dollars for a…
10/17/22 Grif.Net – Overheard
Science = teacher: “When is the boiling point = reached?” Student: = “When my parents see my report = card!” ~~ Daughter: = “Mom, what’s it like to have the greatest daughter in the = world?” Mother: = “I don’t know dear, ask your = grandmother.” ~~UW = student:…
10/15/22 Weekend Grif.Net – Self
Oh, the bitter shame and sorrow, That a time could = ever be,When I let the Saviour’s pityPlead in vain, and proudly = answered – "All of self, and none of = Thee." Yet He found me; I beheld Him = Bleeding on the cursed tree;Heard Him pray,…