Grif.Net

Anyone else remember your Mama saying these things? Seems like just yesterday I could hear her voice . . Be sure and refill the ice trays, we are going to have company after while. Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter in the mail today. Either come…

In a speech, former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich gave some challenging and sober thoughts, worthy of a weekend more serious Grif.Net: “The third thing I want to talk about very briefly is the genuine danger of terrorism, in particular terrorists using weapons of mass destruction and weapons of…

Bank, Rupp & Baroque . Loans While You Wait Bright, Light & Powers . Electrical Specialists Flowers, Bush & Hedges . Landscaping Cook, Books & Hyde . Accountants Dewey, Cheatam & Howe . Tax Law Dolittle and Dalley . Efficiency Consultants House & Holmes . Real Estate Moon, Starr &…

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. David Bissonette When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry By all means marry. If you get…

Limericks are an odd sort of humor to begin with, but I found these two to be exceedingly clever (and odd) word plays: A flea and fly in a flue, Were imprisoned so what could they do? Said the flea let us fly. Said the fly let us flee. So…

“A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” -Winston Churchill “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” -Forrest Tucker “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” -Mark Twain “There’s nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won’t cure.”…

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” -Winston Churchill “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” -Moses…

THE JOY OF TEACHING. The story is fictional but gives a tongue- in-cheek look at how things might have been in Rabbi Jesus’ class: Then Jesus took his disciples up the mountain and, gathering them around him, he taught them, saying: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is…

[Will from Mississippi sent these ideas] “Curious George and the High Voltage Fence” “Strangers Have the Best Candy” “The Little Sissy Who Snitched” “Some Kittens Can Fly!” “Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her” “The Attention Deficit Disorder Association’s Book of Wild Animals of North Amer-Hey! Let’s Go…

A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack…

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names with small American flags mounted on either side of it. The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so…

Three friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but…

Here is a list of things your wife/.mother will probably NEVER say to you or the kids – ~ “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?” ~ “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too” ~ “Just leave all the lights on . .…