Grif.Net

[Was getting info for my wife’s class on natural foods and found these amazing facts about the much-maligned chocolate in a 1999 Grif.Net] If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so…

Here are some thoughts and quotes on government. Note the author and the dates on some. Doesn’t look like things have changed at all. 1) Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself ……….. Mark Twain 2) I contend that…

I was feeling a bit depressed the other day, so I called the Crisis Hotline. I was put through to a ‘call center’ outsourced in Pakistan. I explained that I was feeling suicidal. They seemed very excited at this news and wanted to know if I could drive a truck…

Maxine (cartoon character) says: “Fall makes me grumpy. In that way, it reminds me of winter. And spring. And summer.” “If it got dark any earlier, we wouldn’t have to get up at all” “They hold elections in November because it’s the best time for picking out a turkey” “How…

The Perfect Pastor . . . Preaches exactly 20 minutes and follows it with an invitation in which everyone is convicted but no one is offended. Works from 7:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. and serves as church counselor as well as janitor. 37 years old with 40 years of preaching…

A woman, her husband and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the car next to them and noticed a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter. Looking at her husband, she said, “As soon as I lose…

[Back from travels, including a visit with my sister and her three children, and with my own three kids. Reminded me of being a “brother” as reported in these various individuals’ stories.] You know you’re a big brother when. ..you share a lollipop with your 2-year-old sister, both of you…

A friend wrote: “Some time ago, I was taking a ground school class for private pilots. During the sessions on weather, the instructor wanted to discuss the concept of sublimation – the act of going from a gas to a solid skipping the intermediate stage(s). (e.g., frost – water vapor…

April 1st is National Atheist’s Day All generalizations are false Thou shalt not steal. The IRS hates competition Believe the BIG BANG theory. God spoke and BANG, it happened The word “gullible” is not in the dictionary The Energizer Bunny was recently arrested and charged with battery Ask me about…

A Jewish father, Moisha, was paid a visit by his eldest son Yitzak…”Father, I am going to marry!” His father begins to dance with joy and sing Hava Nagila…”Tell me, is she a good Jewish girl? What is her name?” “O’Brien,” replies the son… “She’s Catholic…” “Oy vey!” says the…

If we’d all heed these, the psychologists, psychiatrists, analysts, and counselors would be looking for another job! Enjoy these “Lessons taught by life” by Regina Brett, The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I’ve…

[Here we are in Wisconsin, beautiful fall colors, rolling hills and Norman Rockwell paintings come to life. And we promised yesterday when we teased the ladies that we’d give a few ways for the men here to know “You are a Farmer if . . . If your dog rides…

After seminary and a couple years as a full-time associate pastor out East, I took the senior pastorate in a rural parish in Wisconsin farm country. Driving back there this weekend for the dedication of a new church building. A lot has probably changed in 30 years since we led…