Grif.Net

A couple was expecting their first baby. Water broke and her contractions were only two minutes apart. To say the mood was frantic would be an understatement. The husband dialed the hospital ER and asked for help. “Is this her first child?” the doctor queried. “No, you idiot!” the man…

[My own dear Mother has been with the Lord for nearly a quarter century, but I wish I could send some of these to her. My heart-felt love and appreciation for her only grows stronger in her memory. Yesterday we sent some “funnies”; today is from the heart.] It kills…

[Great truths about life that mothers have learned and pass down to us] Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take the time to look. For example: Begin by being thankful that wrinkles don’t hurt. One reason…

Five Boy Friends in My life by Maxine (famous cartoon senior citizen) I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. Then I rush to see John. After that, Charlie Horse comes along, and when he is here…

[My sister-in-law forwarded this and I can’t argue with the logic] As you may have heard, each of us may/will be getting a tax rebate check to stimulate the economy. *If we purchase almost anything at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China. *If we purchase gasoline it will go…

Laws of Parenting **The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. **For a child to become clean, something else must become dirty. **Toys multiply to fill any space available. **The longer it takes you to make a meal, the less your child will…

[Bob Watson swears these are factual] “A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what’s left of your unit.” – Army’s magazine of preventive maintenance. ————————————————————————– “Aim towards the Enemy.” – Instruction printed on US Rocket…

[No clue of original source, but good food for thought] The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the ‘Peanuts’ comic strip. You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just read straight through, and you’ll get the point. 1. Name the five wealthiest people in the…

One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and…

At New York’s Kennedy airport a bit ago, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said…

[In April we have asked some penetrating questions and they reveal much about us. Try this one and see how you do.] A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. Room #1 = full of raging fires Room #2 = full of assassins with loaded…

A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games, x-box and Nintendo. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said, “When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the…

[My wife has joined me today in the ranks of “senior saints” at age 60. No, don’t worry – it’s not another week of inane jokes. She just wanted to let everyone know the PERKS that come from this age. And thanks to Joyce for the list!] 1. Kidnappers are…