Grif.Net

In honor of our Veteran’s on this special day, a little odd advice – Friendly fire – isn’t. Recoilless rifles – aren’t. Suppressive fire – won’t. You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note. A sucking chest wound is Nature’s way of telling you to slow down. If…

During a visit to the Mental Asylum, a visitor asked the Director, ‘How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?’ ‘Well,’ said the Director, ‘we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him…

Sixteen men elected President of the US were senators at one time. They were: James Monroe, John Quincy Adams, Andrew Jackson, Martin Van Buren, William Henry Harrison, John Tyler, Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, Andrew Johnson, Benjamin Harrison, Warren G. Harding, Harry S. Truman, John F. Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Richard…

There are reports of a new problem in Australia. Some of the kangaroos have developed a thirst for revenge against the traffic that keeps knocking them down. Drivers have reported that they’ll pass a herd of roos that are hopping along peacefully, but as soon as they’ve passed them, the…

[Jim forwarded this TOP TEN list, hopefully NOT from personal experience, why some men have dogs and not wives] 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name. 3. Dogs like it if…

[Some may need help to understand new terms used in mathematics these days. Hope this helps you and your children’s homework assignments] Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi ~~~ 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League ~~~…

Sobering thoughts for our Election Day reading from Alexis de Tocqueville (a visitor to the United States during its first decades as a nation) “Liberty cannot be established without morality, nor morality without faith.” “America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease…

“When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.” or “Don’t join dangerous cults; practice safe sects.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin, www.grif.net “Jesus knows me, this I love”

[We have stayed away from the matter of politics on our “serious” weekend Grif.Net commentaries, but Bro Brown’s letter is worthy of consideration. Again, if you don’t like it, hit the garbage icon. But I’d encourage even the most liberal socialists around to at least read this response to the…

Mark Twain said that October is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February. After reviewing my stock portfolio I found that the biggest difference between me and a pigeon is that the…

A high school class was discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to…

I’m only 60 and could still go out and beg for candy this week, but I’ve found you are TOO OLD to Trick or Treat when: 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask…

[If you’re not “into” Halloween, then hit the garbage icon now. No sermons need to come my direction.] 1. Year of first city-wide Halloween celebration in USA 2. Name of that city (Halloween Capital of the World) 3. Pounds of pumpkins produced in USA 4. Leading pumpkin-producing state 5. What…