Grif.Net

One of my colleagues writes that this true story occurred during her stint of jury duty: I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer questioning us began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question, “Do any of you here today dislike…

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can…

Our English prof wrote the words, “woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed her students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin “Jesus knows me, this I…

Overheard at graduation. A student wrote home about final exam results: “Dad, I got a 100 on my tests today!” Boy, was his father proud! As the school year was over, Dad came to visit campus and learn more about the great work his boy did. It was only after…

TOP 10 THINGS MEN UNDERSTAND ABOUT WOMEN: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin “Jesus knows me, this I love”

A recent college graduate took a new job in hilly Pittsburg and began commuting each day to work through a tiring array of tunnels, bridges and traffic jams. To make the task less onerous, he invited several of his coworkers to share the ride. He soon found, however, that the…

Lou goes to the doctor’s office complaining of not feeling well. The doctor runs some test on him and in a few minutes comes back in. The doctor says, “Lou, sit down. I’ve got some really bad news. You don’t have much time to live.” Lou is obviously upset about…

I hereby officially TENDER MY RESIGNATION as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 6 year old again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think that it’s a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and…

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, “Let my brother have the first pancake. I…

[As you may already know, Haiku has 17 syllables: 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, 5 in the third. Here are some suggestions.] OPTIONS Unemployment’s out. Hey, maybe I can get on Disability BLAZE Distant siren screams Neighbor kid’s been playing with Gasoline again REMORSE A…

[All credit to an old Ann Landers clipping that listed “Important Things My Kids Taught Me”] *It’s more fun to color outside the lines. *If you’re gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch. *Ask why until you understand. *Save a place in line for your friends. *If…

[Can’t let this day pass without special birthday love and a prayer for my sweet wife Teresa. I won’t reveal her age, but as of today no one will be able to say she is 60. She is a gifted healer and used mightily by God in her special ministry…

[Here are some new measurements to add to our growing list of terms] Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:…