Grif.Net

= The Department of Fish, Wild= life & Parks is issuing revised safety recommendations for bear interac= tions.  We urge all tourists, hikers, and aspiring Instagram models to= take the following precautions while enjoying our scenic wilderness:1. WEAR BELLS: We strongly encourage attaching small, noisy bells to your= clothing and…

=   = A Texan= was taking a taxi tour of London and immediately began comparing that city= with his beloved Texas. (No surprise there, eh?)  = As they went by the Tower of London the cabby explained what it w= as and that construction started in 1346 and it…

= [Another "no-school Mon= day" is finally over, as if just having two weeks off for Christmas Br= eak isn’t enough vacation.]   A mot= her went in to waken her son, saying "Get up, it’s time for school.&qu= ot;   "But why, Mom? I don’t want to go."  …

= A fellow went to the clinic = for his annual physical exam. The doctor did a thorough job and remarked, &= #8220;You are in excellent shape. You must get a lot of exercise.”   He replied, “Yes, I do. For example,= yesterday I walked more than five miles over…

[This is= a reprint from the Grif.Net January 20, 2001, 25 years ago this week. Wond= erful lesson still today.] A few months before the fall of the Berli= n Wall, some of the East Berliners decided they were going to send their We= st Berlin adversaries a little "gift." …

= When teaching a variety of c= ourses in college I quizzed: “When I say, ‘I am the best lookin= g professor’, am I using past, present, or future tense?”   Class responds= in unison: “Past tense.”   Then I added: &= #8220;And if I say, ‘I am also the…

Have you= ever had a week where you thought "I WISH I COULD JUST QUIT. THIS IS = THE WORST JOB”?   Some years ago, the Q-Tip company made a rectal therm= ometer (it was taken off the market). The written material that accompanied= the thermometer (I’m told) explains how…

= [I’ve saved a few upda= tes of friends from the past months]  = Alr= ic S. recommended, “If your body is cremated, your ashes can be put i= n an hour glass so you can continue to participate in family game night.&#8= 221;   Scott M. admitted, “As we…

= [A long-time Grif.Net reader= in England sent this one. Not bad, old chap.] It was the World Cup = Final, and a man made his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sat d= own, noticing that the seat next to him was empty. &nbs= p;…

= It was late in the day when = a fully loaded minivan pulled into the last campsite in the state park. As = soon as it stopped, the doors flew open and four children began rapidly unl= oading the gear and setting up the tent. The boys headed off…

= [I’ve be= en battling a long illness and for the past four months been “locked = down” to reduce stress, allow time for my body to “catch up&#82= 21;, my emotions to “straighten up”, and my mind to focus again= =2E  My heart has “looked up” to God and…

= A policeman in San Diego pul= led over a driver in a pickup truck and noticed the truck bed was full of k= oala bears. The officer said, "You need to take these koalas to the zo= o."   The man agreed and drove off.   The next day,…

= The Secret Service had to change protocol for when President Trump is = in danger. Instead of yelling "get down!", they now yell "Do= nald, duck!" &nbsp= ; Dr Frankenstein entered a body building contest but upon arrival= he realized he misunderstood the objective.   I have a Polish friend…