“Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas,” little Joshie said to his Uncle Dave the first time he saw him after the holidays. “It’s the best present I ever got.” “That’s great,” said his uncle. “Do you know how to play it?” “Oh, I don’t play it,” the…
12/25/09 Christmas Weekend Grif.Net – ‘Tis the Season to be Jolly
We send out fun emails and fill up your in-boxes throughout the year with smiles and laughs (or groans). Each weekend the topic is more pointed. And on Christmas Day, what would you expect? More laughs? ‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY . . . but not everyone is jolly…
12/24/09 Christmas Eve Grif.Net – Bethlehem
A pastor asked the class, “Why was Jesus born in Bethlehem?” A young child raised his hand and replied, “Because his mother was there.” ~~ Seriously, now . . . remember the story? In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city…
12/23/09 Grif.Net – The Byte Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a user was using his laptop or mouse; The programs were ‘hung’ from the bugs in their code, In hopes that a guru would soon cure their woes; The data were nestled all snug in their beds, While versions…
12/22/09 Grif.Net – New Songs about Christmas Disorders
[This is a repeat from a few years back – many liked it, although some thought I was picking on them or their friends personally. Who knew?] Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear? Manic — Deck the Halls and…
12/21/09 Grif.Net – New Favorite Tunes this Christmas
(Sung to the tune “Deck The Halls”) Deck the malls this Christmas season, fa la la la la, la la la la Blow your cash for no good reason, fa la la la la, la la la la Push your charge card to it’s limit fa la la, la la…
12/19/09 Weekend Grif.Net – Good and Perfect Gift
There is less than a week now until Christmas (for gift buying). The Bible uses two different Greek words translated “gift”. Both illustrate different truths. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow…
12/18/09 Grif.Net – Truth about Santa
SANTA CLAUS IS A WOMAN. I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe he’s a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized, warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off! For…
12/17/09 Grif.Net – Catching Cold
As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk…
12/17/09 Grif.Net – Catching Cold
As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they are there. One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk…
12/17/09 Grif.Net – Catching Cold
As you know, it is very important for Santa and his reindeer to be very
quiet when they deliver presents on Christmas Eve so no one will know they
are there. One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus landed on a rooftop and suddenly
he heard a very loud, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!” coming from one of his
reindeer. Since he was in the sleigh behind them, he didn’t know which one
it was.
It happened again, only louder this time, “Snort sniff honk honk snort!”
Dogs in the neighborhood began to bark. “Shhh!” Santa hissed. “Please be
quiet!”
He went to work lifting the sack of toys out of the sleigh when he heard it
again, only a lot louder this time, “SNORT SNIFF HONK HONK SNORT!”
Lights came on all over the neighborhood, and some people even stuck their
heads out of their windows. Santa was horrified. Jumping back into the
sleigh, he drove quickly back to the North Pole. He lined up all the
reindeer and announced, “We are not going to deliver another present until
the reindeer that is making funny noises with his nose steps forward and
apologizes!”
Donner stepped forward and admitted he had both allergies and caught a cold
and was the one making the noises.
Before continuing on that Christmas Eve, Santa ‘read off the rude-nosed
reindeer’.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”
12/16/09 Grif.Net – Christmas Shopping
It was December 16th, just nine days before Christmas, and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What are you charged with?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the defendant. “That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early were you doing this shopping?” “Oh, about…
12/15/09 Grif.Net – Cattlemen v Sheepherders
In northern Wyoming there was a huge battle between cattle barons and sheepherders in the Johnson County War. Sheep were shot, fences put up on the vast cattle ranches ripped down. Finally the leading sheepherder Clare D. Lune hired two Chinese immigrants (Lu Chim and Wu Ni) and together they…