Three finalists all applied for the last available position on the Casper Police Department. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, “So y’all want to be cops, huh?” He got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder. “To be a detective…
09/26/10 Grif.Net – Cruise Ship Prayer
Heavenly Father, look down on us your humble, obedient cruising servants, who are doomed to cruise this earth, taking photographs, mailing postcards, buying souvenirs, eating ourselves silly and walking around muggy Caribbean islands in drip-dry underwear. We beseech You, our Lord, to give us non-stop flights, to see that our…
09/25/10 Weekend Grif.Net – Smart Thinking
[Fun poem by Shel Silverstein] My dad gave me one dollar bill ‘Cause I’m his smartest son, And I swapped it for two shiny quarters ‘Cause two is more then one! And then I took the quarters And traded them to Lou For three dimes– I guess he didn’t know…
09/24/10 Grif.Net – Frequent Questions on a Cruise Ship
1. (For this one, you have to know that it’s really easy to get lost in the maze of corridors and elevators on a ship.) A lady asked if this elevator went to the front of the ship. 2. Two elderly women were staring at the numbers of the floors…
09/17/10 Grif.Net – Speeding Ticket States
The National Motorists Association made a list of the top ten states for issuing speeding tickets. I am going to list #6-10 and your job, if you accept it, is to list (in order or hey, just get them at all) #1-5 BTW, I was pleased to see Wyoming was…
09/16/10 Grif.Net – Plan your Excuse
[Missing work next Monday will take some planning for a quality, believable excuse. Muse on these for a few days then feel free to try calling in one of these to the boss.] I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me…
09/15/10 Grif.Net – Lexophilia
Top 10 Word Plays No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationary. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it. A boiled…
09/14/10 Grif.Net – School Play
Johnny’s father picked him up from school one day. Knowing the audition results for the school play had been announced that morning, he asked his son if he got a part. Johnny excitedly exclaimed that he’d gotten a part: “I play a man who’s been married for twenty years.” “That’s…
09/13/10 Grif.Net – Flight Attendant Humor
[In honor of those flying today, I share my TOP 10 HUMOROUS ANNOUNCEMENTS by airline staff] Pilot on public intercom: “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.” —-o0o—…
09/11/10 Weekend Grif.Net – Strength from Adversity
[Remembering those who have suffered great adversity and pain in the struggle we call life] A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then…
09/10/10 Grif.Net – Teenagers
Watching the young people walk past the house to/from high school caused me to question . . . Q. What do JC Penney’s and teenagers have in common? A. Pants 50% off. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”
09/09/10 Grif.Net – Insights on Golf
[Friend who plays at golf shared these ONE-LINE insights. Most of the ONE-WORD insights I hear on the links are not fit to be on the Grif.Net] Golfers who claim they never cheat also lie. The only sure way to get a par is to leave a four-foot birdie putt…
09/08/10 Grif.Net – Bad Pun
A man goes into his shrink’s office and says, “Doc, you have got to help me! Every night I keep dreaming that I’m a sports car. The other night I dreamed I was a Trans Am. Another night I dreamed I was an Alpha Romeo. Last night I dreamed I…