Grif.Net

Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing? Why is it called “after dark” when it is really “after light”? Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected…

MY THANKSGIVING PRAYER Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarm rings, thank You, Lord, that I can hear. There are many who are deaf. Even though I keep my eyes closed against the morning light as long as possible, thank You, Lord, that I can see.…

A student asked her teacher why people thought angels were male, not female. The teacher, of course, replied that with names like Michael and Gabriel they MUST be male. But she was stymied when the girl asked her about angels that had female names like Sarah or Cher. And I…

A little boy saw my bracelet that had the letters WWJD on it. He volunteered that he knew what the letters meant. “What Would Jesus Drive” I smiled and asked him what WOULD Jesus drive? Without hesitation he suggested, “A van that seats 12 and pulls a boat”. Makes sense…

I read that walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month. Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. The advantage of exercising…

Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion’s guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the…

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea… does that mean that 1 in 5 enjoys it? The problem with political jokes is they get elected If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments. Marriage is not a word — it is a…

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea… does that mean that 1 in 5 enjoys it? The problem with political jokes is they get elected If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments. Marriage is not a word — it is a…

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child? You’re never too old to learn something stupid. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. A good time to…

No one ever says ‘It’s only a game” when their team is winning. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as warning to others. Hard work pays off in the future.…

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify ____________:” I put “DOCTOR”. No offense to mom or anyone . . . I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you. Why do Americans choose from just two people to…

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But remember, it’s still on the list. If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong. We…

Isn’t it strange how a 20 dollar bill seems like such a large amount when you donate it to church, but such a small amount when you go shopping? Isn’t it strange how 2 hours seem so long when you’re at church, and how short they seem when you’re watching…