Grif.Net

The irate customer calling the newspaper offices, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was. “Ma’am”, said the employee, “today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered ’til Sunday.” There was quite a pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition. “Ah,…

Kudzu is green, my dog’s name is Blue And I’m so lucky to have a sweet thang like you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze. Softer than Blue’s and with a lot fewer fleas. You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain’t got…

It was so cold . . . our grades seemed to be improving at school – when you apply the wind chill factor, a 57% looks like 93% It was so cold… my car wouldn’t run – but my nose wouldn’t stop! It was so cold… Smokey the Bear grabbed…

[From papers written by a second grade class] Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people’s kids. Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them.. They are so old they shouldn’t play…

When Jesus came to Golgotha they hanged Him on a tree, They drove great nails through hands and feet, and made a Calvary; They crowned Him with a crown of thorns, red were His wounds and deep, For those were crude and cruel days, and human flesh was cheap. When…

[Children – Valentine’s Day is just a week away. Have you made cards or sent notes to your special friends? We at the grif.net would like to help by offering some jokes, quizzes, and fun things for you in preparation for that big day.] What did the boy sheep say…

[Grace forwarded this oh-so-accurate poem] Just a line to say I’m living, that I’m not among the dead– Though I’m getting more forgetful, sometimes mixed up in the head. I am used to my arthritis; to trifocals I’m resigned; I even like my hearing aids, but oh how I miss…

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is?” “Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office. The doorbell rang at 10 a.m., and when the wife opened the door, she was…

They arrested a woman for causing an accident while on her cell phone … she was charged with driving while intalksicated. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

1. How does a moose begin a letter to his cousin? 2. What is a complete opening in the ground? 3. What is a smelly chicken? 4. What do you call a less expensive bird? 5. Who is married to Uncle Beetle? 6. What does a broken window feel? 7.…

[This was written by a sports anchor from Fox 6 in Milwaukee weeks BEFORE winning the NFC Championship. It doesn’t get any better than this.] This job affords me some incredible opportunities. Being a member of the FOX 6 Sports team means I’ve been able to witness and report on…

Charley, a new retiree greeter at Wal-Mart, just couldn’t seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their “Older Person Friendly”…

[Carol shared her prayer with us. Short and to the point.] Dear God, All I ask for in 2011 is a big, fat bank account and a slim body. And please don’t mix these up like you did last year. Amen. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me,…