Grif.Net

[Lame attempt at humor based on the Civil War] A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. “My great grandfather, at age 12,” one declared proudly, “was the youngest drummer boy at Gettysburg.” “Mine,” boasted another, “helped…

[This week begins the 150th anniversary of the American Civil War. As an avid historian and reenactor, I thought I’d try for some civil war jokes) You might be a Civil War Reenactor if . . . You jump when you overhear people talking about how bad the “Yankees” are,…

[Bob B forwarded this story with a real impact] When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so…

Heard this story about Los Angeles. A young woman and her newborn baby got on a bus. The bus driver looked at the baby and screamed in horror at the sight of it. The woman was upset but doesn’t know what to do, so she just marched to the back…

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. – Zsa…

On his way out of church after services last Sunday, Frank stopped at the door to speak to me (I’m the minister). “Would it be right,” he asked, “for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?” “Absolutely not!” I quickly replied, disappointed that Frank would even ask such…

Turning 13, a boy near Duluth Minnesota named Lars had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 13th birthdays when they became a teenager. So when Lars’ 13th came around, he and…

A man had very expensive tickets 10 rows up at mid-court for the NCAA Final Four games last Saturday. As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty. He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.…

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.  The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment…

In 1996 the Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed,…

Susie’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the…

Springtime. Some of you may be contemplating buying seeds and plants pretty soon, thinking of raising a new crop to eat. I urge you not to do so. Why kill poor innocent defenseless plants? Think of a beautiful, peaceful plant with its colorful pretty little flowers suddenly brutally attacked, mangled…

Waiting for medical tests today I came across a clever puzzle idea in a magazine (an up-to-date magazine – shock!). The idea: you are given a set of words and you seek to find what they have IN COMMON. Answers will be in a couple of days. Example 1: Elephant…