Grif.Net

[Questions a Dad Might Ask] >>Do cannibals like to= meat people?   >>If two vegetarians are arguing, do they have a beef with ea= ch other?   >>Is turning vegan a big missed steak?   >>Do butchers link sausage= s to make ends meat?   >>If a pea rolls off…

[When can a person start using “Dad Jokes”?  T= he answer should be apparent. Here are some lousy dad jokes WITHOUT the pun= ch line/answer. Your task is to complete each to make children everywhere g= roan and roll their eyes. Have fun with this very odd quiz.]   1.…

He Will See Me Safely Home (Ecclesiastes 12:1-7)   When I fail to hear = the voices blending, And my arms grow weak = that once were strong, When I no more see t= he rainbow bending, And the night be lonel= y and be long,   = When my…

[These odd thoughts courtesy of an odd frien= d, er, old friend. Blame him, not me.] The inventors of the ferris wheel= and merry-go-round never met. Evidently, th= ey traveled in different circles. &nbsp= ; The inventor of the heat index factor died rece= ntly. He was 81 but felt…

[Alric knows I love puns, especially “story puns” w= ith twisted conclusions. This was right up my alley.] =   A big Viking was shopping a= t a small-town market when he saw an older lady in a wheelchair, almost in = tears. “What’s the matter, dear?” he asked.  …

Mike B concluded, “This year’s Spelling Bee winner correc= tly spelled ‘psammophile.’ I’ll use it in a sentence: if you ca= n spell psammophile, you’re a geek.”   Ken H said, “I don’t understan= d why people must ‘get ready’ for bed. I’m always ready for bed= =2E”   Dellis…

Q: Why should you research the best firework stands before maki= ng your purchase? A: You want to get the bes= t bang for your buck   Q: When is the only time that the colors red, white, and bl= ue don’t represent freedom? A: When they are= flashing behind…

[First weekday of the month means puns, and this is the next-to= -last batch of Tom Swifty jokes, focused on “U”]   "The bank doesn= ‘t even want me as a depositor," said Tom unaccountably.   "Get Smoky out= of here!" said Park Ranger Tom unbearably.   "My Chinese cookie…

“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.&#82= 21; ~ Babe Ruth   “The secret of change is to = focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.&#8= 221; ~ Socrates   “There are two rules for suc= cess: 1. Never reveal…

[Today is Friday, the end of a work week and the 30th of June. = Someone told me tomorrow begins a new month. I thought, “Would July t= o me?”  Here are some lame jokes to spread cheer at work before = a long weekend, and deep sigh realizing that…

Tried calling the Tinnitus hot line.  No answer. It ju= st kept ringing and ringing and ringing.   ~~ BREAKI= NG NEWS:Overnight burglary at the new Apple store. Police are looking for iWitnesses.   ~~ I= f you hate speeding tickets, raise your right foot.   ~~ Dr Bob Griffi=…

[I’m Bob. My friends call me ‘Grif’. College = students of mine call me “Dr Bob”. Parishioners call me “= Pastor Bob”. What you DON’T know is that . . . ] >I&#= 8217;m on my second guardian angel. The first one quit and is now in therap= y.  …

SIMPLE MULTIPLE-CHOICE GEOGRAPHY QUESTIONS guaranteed to amuse = and amaze.  And I even GIVE you the RIGHT ANSWERS.  (Choices offe= red are listed alphabetically, so no clue there).  Have fun. Correct a= nswers tomorrow.   1. What nation has the most islands? __________(Canada, Indo= nesia, Philippines, Sweden)   2. What…