Grif.Net

[Diane forwarded this barbed humor going around New Delhi] Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, “Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one on your grasp of the English language. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.” Mujibar said,…

[Diane forwarded this barbed humor going around New Delhi] Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, “Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one on your grasp of the English language. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.” Mujibar said,…

Char reminded me that one must be very specific in the choice of words: Wife texts husband on a cold winter’s Morning: “Windows frozen, won’t open.” Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.” Wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer really screwed up now.” ~~ Dr Bob…

[A Wisconsin pastor forwarded me this thought-provoking political story yesterday, so I changed my weekend grif.net as I consider this important.] I was in my neighborhood restaurant this morning and was seated behind a group of jubilant individuals celebrating the coming implementation of the health care bill. I could not…

Bob decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his rifles and shotgun, and assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally spoke.…

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: “There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death in 2013.” Visibly shaken, Laura stared…

ý10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow 1. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code 2. Graphics arrive via FedEx 3. You believe a heavier string might improve your connection 4. You post a message on FaceBook and it displays about a week later 5.…

Try our Sundays – they’re better than Ben and Jerry’s. Come in and Pray. Beat the Christmas Rush. Heaven: The Best Gated Community. Where will You spend Eternity – Smoking or Non-Smoking? Sign Broken. Message inside. And the best? Non-exposure to the Son may cause burning. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin…

I was standing at the washing machine, waiting for it to fill with water so I could add some bleach, when this statement on the bottle caught my eye: “It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.” “Inconsistent,” that’s an…

“The Pledge of Allegiance” – by Senator John McCain As you may know, I spent five and one half years as a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War. In the early years of our imprisonment, the NVA kept us in solitary confinement or two or three to a cell.…

As the deadline approached for the Super Bowl, Veteran kicker Harold Lang was a contract hold-out. Fortunately they finally got Old Lang Signed. Got a message on the phone this morning: “Your dentist was called away, so his hygienist is filling in today.” [J.A. reminds us that a ‘Word’ is…

Here is a variation that George Lucas (allegedly, but I kinda doubt it) created to determine your Star Wars name. To determine your first name take the first 3 letters of your last name. Then add the first 2 letters of your first name. To construct your last name, take…

When her dog and a pet goat died, my five-year-old niece Whitney was told that the animals were now in Heaven. All was well until she went on a walk with her mother. Mom started a little teaching, “God made all the flowers, the trees, the bugs, and everything!” “Well,…